


Magic isn't real

by DCHorror



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Pesterlog, Trollian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2018-12-06 17:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11605047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCHorror/pseuds/DCHorror
Summary: Magic isn't real. Every troll knows this. You can't say funny words and make things happen. Draw funny symbols in blood and change the nature of the canvas. Just stories lusii tell their charges so that reality doesn't seem so unrelentingly harsh.Because, if magic was real, if there was an entire caste that could use it, wouldn't history have gone down differently?





	1. Preamble

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I just don't know. This was born out of a lot of theories I had about Homestuck as I was reading through it. Expect a lot of things that are definitely, positively not canon and more or less fly directly in the face of it. I'll probably discuss such things as I reach a point of conclusion for it, but a lot of this is born of similar things. Of an idea being seeded, but simply never followed up on. A lot of this is mostly my frustrations with Homestuck, which have largely been building since Hivebent, and haven't gone away since the comic ended. Hussie made an epic, but only wrote about a third of it.
> 
> This chapter and what is planned for the next one is born out of the frustration of Karkat obviously having some form of connection with Calliope and Caliborn, that never ended up panning out to anything in canon.

uu: KARKAT.

uu: KARKAT?

uu: DO You MIND IF I CALL YOu KARKAT?

uu: I DO SO WISH TO CALL YOu KARKAT.

uu: IS THAT ALRIGHT, KARKAT?

uu: IS THAT WHY YOu’RE NOT RESPONDING TO ME, KARKAT?

uu: WHAT SHOuLD I CALL YOu THEN, KARKAT?

uu: DO YOu WISH TO BE REFERRED TO AS MR. VANTAS, KARKAT?

uu: BECAuSE THAT’S RuDE KARKAT.

uu: TELL ME, KARKAT. WHAT SORT OF RuDE PERSON ONLY REFERS TO ANYONE SOLELY BY THEIR LAST NAME?

 

Karkat groaned.

 

uu: KARKAT.

uu: I KNOW YOu’RE AWAKE, KARKAT.

uu: YES.

uu: RAISE YOuR FINGER OF DEPRAVED JuSTICE!

uu: KEEP DOING THAT, KARKAT.

uu: I COMMAND IT.

uu: IT IS SO

uu: OBSCENE.

 

Karkat groaned again. It was not going away. It was not going to let Karkat sleep. On the bright side, it didn’t seem like it was going to kill him either. He briefly contemplated pretending he was still asleep, but that line of thought was already useless for having flipped the thing off. Groaning once again, he reached and pulled himself up so that his head broke the surface of his sopor slime.

 

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

 

The thing in his respiteblock is about the size of an adult troll, but it certainly isn’t one, with its green skin and skull like but hornless head. Cherry red spirals circle on his(it look’s like a his, with broad shoulders and a defined chest over which a black t-shirt is strecthed) cheeks, and his eyes are pitch black, though they occasionally spark into a random color. Of course, your attention is drawn to his fangs, one of which has been replaced with a gold version.

 

uu: OH, YOU ARE AWAKE.

uu: THAT IS GOOD.

uu: SO VERY GOOD.

uu: I WAS STARTING TO THINK I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF.

uu: WHAT DO I WANT, KARKAT?

 

He leans forward, staring directly into Karkat’s eyes, a maliscious grin on his face.

 

uu: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.

 

In that moment, Karkat knew he was going to die. Some creature of the day had gotten into his hive, was going to kill him in some horrible and convoluted fashion, and then do unspeakable things with his body. There was no other way for this to play out.

 

uu: OH, NOT WITH YOu.

 

Except, apparently, that way. Karkat's fear must have shown to the creature.

 

uu: YOu ARE MERELY A PAWN.

uu: PLAYING WITH YOu WouLD BE A

uu: FuCKING WASTE

uu: OF A SET uP BOARD.

UU: brother dearest, please do refrain from attempting to frighten oUr host.

uu: ATTEMPT?

uu: AS IF I COuLD DO ANYTHING SAVE SuCCEED.

 

Karkat turned at the new voice, seeing another of the creatures standing in the corner of his respiteblock. It was taller and more slender, and the cherry red spirals were instead lime green. It also still had all of its original fangs, and was almost definitely female, though it seemed much harder to tell through the dark green coat it sported.

 

UU: mister vantas, please excUse my brother's

UU: improprieties.

UU: yoU are in no danger.

UU: he wants to play a game with me.

uu: DON'T FLATTER YOuRSELF.

UU: tell me i'm wrong.

CG: WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME? WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS WANT?

 

That...that was real smooth. A+, 10/10. Game over, delete save file.

 

uu: AS ELEGANT AS FuCKING EVER.

uu: I CAN SEE WHY HE IS YOUR FAVOuRITE.

 

The taller one smiled, a truly disturbing sight in and of itself.

 

UU: oh, brother mine.

UU: given time, he coUld, woUld, and will overcome yoUr taint.

UU: not simply in himself, but also in others.

UU: i admire him for his pUrity of character, not the elegance of his words.

CG: WILL YOU ASSHOLES STOP IGNORING ME!?

uu: OH YES.

uu: OBVIOuSLY A BASTION OF CALM STANDS BEFORE uS.

 

The muscular one started laughing and the slender one may have rolled her eyes, though it's hard to tell when they're entirely black.

 

UU: ignore him.

UU: we are gUests in yoUr home

UU: yet we have not been acting as sUch.

UU: my brother

uu: I'M NOT YOuR BROTHER.

 

She winks at Karkat, a decidedly mischeivious grin forming.

 

UU: my brother

UU: wants to play a game with me.

UU: in all honesty, however, we cannot play directly against each other.

UU: the last time that happened

UU: an entire galaxy was destroyed.

uu: STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS SO TERRIBLE ABOuT THAT.

uu: THE SHRIEKS OF TERROR WERE ABSOLuTELY DELICIOuS.

UU: perhaps

UU: but yoU know my rUles.

UU: if yoU want to play a game with me

UU: it has to be done through pawns.

CG: YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY FUCKING QUESTION.

UU: of coUrse I have not.

UU: bUt i am getting to it, mister vantas.

 

She takes a long look at Karkat's head peeking out of his recuperacoon.

 

UU: thoUgh sUrely, yoU woUld rather take this conversation somewhere yoU coUld be more comfortable.

CG: UH, YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

CG: CAN I GET SOME PRIVACY?

uu: DO YOu THINK YOu HAVE ANYTHING WE HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE?

CG: THAT'S NOT AS COMFORTING AS YOU MIGHT THINK IT SOUNDS.

uu: IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE COMFORTING.

uu: FACTS RARELY ARE.

 

Karkat levels a glare at the frighteningly well muscled creature, because if it hadn't killed him yet, it probably wasn't going to for being looked at.

 

uu: FINE.

 

He grunts and throws his arms in the air as he storms out of the room.

 

UU: i apologize for my brother

uu: I'M NOT YOuR BROTHER!

UU: he is somewhat

UU: incorrigible.

 

She saunters out of the room herself.

 

UU: wear something yoU do not mind losing.

UU: i doUbt yoU will want to wear it again after tonight.

 

Karkat waited for the door to shut before he pulled himself out of the recuperacoon. It was tempting to go back to sleep and make the creatures wait, but a quick glance out the window showed that it was nearly dusk. His night was going to start soon anyway, might as well be now. Therefore, he climbed out of the sopor slime and grabbed the towel he had set up the night before to wipe all the excess slime off his body. Cleaned up, he started a search for old clothing, anything that hadn't been made by Kanaya. Whether or not he actually trusted the words of either creature, blindly(or spitefully) ignoring their warnings just seemed a very foolish idea. Settling on an old, faded sweater without his sign, and a pair of pants that had been ripped on his last market excursion, he stepped out of his respiteblock.

 

The first thing Karkat sees is the muscular one bouncing up and down on his couch.

 

uu: IT IS SO BOuNCY.

UU: if yoU woUld stop that

UU: it woUld seem oUr host is ready to receive Us.

 

The slender one is standing just a few steps away from him, and turns his way after admonishing her counterpart.

 

UU: oh good.

UU: yoU followed my advice.

CG: YEAH YEAH, WHATEVER.

CG: NOW CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU FUCKHOLES WANT WITH ME?

UU: absolUtely.

UU: are yoU ready to learn some magic?

CG: MAGIC ISN'T REAL.

 

She's finished turning and he sees that she is holding a classic revolver. Mostly because she has leveled it directly at his forehead.

 

UU: maybe do not say that Until after i have cast my spell.

 

And she pulls the trigger.


	2. YOU SHOT ME IN THE FACE!

CG: AAAAAAAA

CG: AAAAAAAA

CG: AAAAAAAA

CG: AAAAAAAA

CG: AAAAAAAA

CG: AAAAAAAA

uu: THIS IS QuITE IMPRESSIVE.

CG: AAAAAAAA

UU: i was hoping

CG: AAAAAAAA

UU: for something

CG: UUUUUUUU

UU: less dramatic.

CG: UUUUUUUU

CG: UUUUUUUU

CG: UUUUUUUU

uu: NO WONDER HE'S YOuR FAVOuRITE.

CG: UUUUUUUU

CG: UUUUUUUU

UU: shUt Up.

CG: UUUUUUUU

CG: UUUUUUUU

CG: GGGGGGGG

uu: DO WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING HERE?

CG: GGGGGGGG

CG: GGGGGGGG

UU: jUst let him get it oUt of his system.

CG: GGGGGGGG

CG: GGGGGGGG

CG: GGGGGGGG

uu: SHOuLD HAVE PAID MORE ATTENTION TO THIS ONE.

CG: GGGGGGGG

CG: GGGGGGGG

uu: WOuLD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN AN uNDYING CLOWN.

CG: HHHHHHHH

CG: HHHHHHHH

CG: HHHHHHHH

CG: HHHHHHHH

uu: YOu'RE THE TROLL EXPERT.

CG: HHHHHHHH

UU: yeah?

CG: HHHHHHHH

uu: DON'T THEY NEED TO BREATHE?

CG: HHHHHHHH

CG: HHHHHHHH

CG: !!!!!!!!

UU: eventUally.

CG: !!!!!!!!

CG: !!!!!!!!

CG: !!!!!!!!

CG: !!!!!!!!

uu: NOW HE'S JuST EXHALING VOLuMINOuSLY.

CG: !!!!!!!!

UU: sUch a big word.

CG: !!!!!!!!

uu: SHuT uP.

CG: !!!!!!!!

 

Karkat had, it seems, finally run out of breath. He just stood there panting and glaring at the taller of the two creatures.

 

UU: do yoU feel better now?

CG: AAAAAAAA

CG: AAAAAAAA

UU: of coUrse not.

CG: AAA-

 

Her han snakes out, sharply colliding with the side of Karkat's face with enough force to turn his head forty three degrees to the left. It also stops him mid shout. A more than effective demonstration of an age old manuever known as 'getting some sense slapped into you.'

 

UU: are yoU feeling better now?

CG: YOU SHOT ME IN THE FACE!

UU: i did not shoot yoU in the face.

CG: YOU SHOT

CG: ME IN

CG: THE FACE!

UU: if i had shot yoU in the face

UU: yoU woUld not be able to argUe the point.

 

Karkat turned to the bulkier of the two.

 

CG: SHE SHOT ME IN THE FACE!

uu: IT DID LOOK LIKE YOu SHOT HIM IN THE FACE.

UU: i did not shoot him in the face!

uu: MAYBE YOu SHOuLD SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE.

uu: AND THEN,

uu: AS AN IMPARTIAL BYSTANDER

uu: I CAN INFORM HIM OF THE SuBTLE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN

uu: YOu SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE

uu: AND NOT SHOOTING HIM IN THE FACE.

 

He finished his marvelous idea by holding both his thumbs up with the cheesiest grin(complete with sparkle over the gold tooth) he could manage. His two conversation partners stared at him, awestruck at the fantastic and wonderful idea he had just pitched magnificently and obviously considering the best way to implement it.

 

UU: that is an absUrdly bad idea.

CG: I AM IN FAVOR OF PLAN DON'T GET SHOT IN THE FACE AGAIN.

UU: yoU can't get shot in the face again,

UU: becaUse yoU haven't been shot in the face before.

UU: if anything, it shoUld be called operation don't get shot in the face ever.

CG: TOO LATE FOR THAT,

CG: BECAUSE YOU SHOT ME IN THE FACE!

UU: i am not indUlging this conversation anymore.

CG: SO, YOU'RE ADMITTING YOU'RE AT FAULT?

 

And then, Karkat doubled over, clutching his stomach before falling to his knees. He looked up at the creature, genuine fear in his eyes. His insides were rolling, boiling and his throat thick and raw. He couldn't even manage the "WH-" of what's happening before candy red sludge began to spew forth from his mouth.

 

UU: no, for i am not.

UU: becaUse we have more important matters to discUss.

UU: for example, i coUld have told yoU yoU were aboUt to be sick.

UU: if yoU had not been so argUmentative.

UU: by the way, do not mind the blood loss.

UU: it is Unimportant.

UU: now, introdUctions.

UU: my name is Calliope

UU: and this is

UU: caliborn?

 

She had turned slightly to ensure she was pointing the right way, only to catch sight of Caliborn playing a rather vigorous game of chess against yet another Caliborn.

 

UU: what are yoU doing?

uu: YOu'RE BORING.

uu: YOu'RE BORING.

I DECIDED TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF.

UU: don't yoU already know who is going to win?

uu: TIME TRAVEL IS SO MuCH MORE MANAGEABLE

uu: WHEN YOu DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE LITTLE DETAILS.

UU: fine, whatever.

 

Calliope turned back to Karkat, who had taken the opportunity to continue retching up the viscous material onto the floor and staining his claws and knees red. His eyes had also started to tear up and sweat had started covering his body, making his visible flesh look red as well.

 

UU: right.

UU: at any rate, we like to play a game.

UU: we create alterations to a session,

UU: or more often, the players of a session.

UU: if the session is sUccessful, i win.

UU: if the session becomes lost, he wins.

UU: now, we have already played oUr game with your session

UU: bUt my dear brother

uu: I AM NOT YOuR BROTHER.

uu: I AM NOT YOuR BROTHER.

UU: has demanded a rematch

UU: becaUse it ended Up being a particUlarly terrible loss for him.

UU: i am agreeing becaUse it was not sUch an amazing win, either.

 

The Troll coughed out the last bit of blood onto the ground, his heaving finally at an end.

 

CG: THAT MUST BE FOUR LITRES.

CG: HOW AM I NOT DEAD?

UU: i am getting to that, mister vantas.

UU: if yoU woUld be so kind as to not interrUpt.

UU: i did tell yoU not to mind the blood loss.

UU: where was i?

UU: oh yes.

UU: this is a rematch.

UU: previoUsly, caliborn crippled every member of yoUr team that he was able.

uu: AND YOu CHEATED.

UU: i do not cheat.

uu: YOu STACKED THE DECK.

uu: YOu ONLY LET THEM GET CRIPPLED IN WAYS THAT MADE THEM STRONGER.

UU: why woUld i have dictated how they got crippled?

UU: i got the alteration i wanted.

UU: not that it matters this time.

UU: i have jUst removed caliborn's taint.

UU: now yoU can make yoUr new alteration.

uu: FINALLY!

uu: FINALLY!

 

Both Caliborn's abandoned their haphazard chess game that had somehow moved onto the cieling, each digging one of their claws into his chest. It was a cold sensation, not as if they had impaled him, but more like he'd been dumped in a vat of ice cold water, and when they removed their claws each holding a card, they had a lime green residue on them. Not that they stuck around long enough to truly examine, disappearing in a cloud of gears.

 

UU: now, yoU had a qUestion.

UU: yoU are not dead in spite of expelling a tremendoUs amoUnt of blood.

UU: as yoU may have gathered, that is largely to do with when i cast my spell on yoU.

CG: SHOT ME IN THE FACE.

UU: oh, will yoU drop it?

UU: this is my focUs.

UU: woUld this have been better?

 

Calliope flicked her revolver to the side, and it changes into a wand. Then she flicked it again and sends a bullet careening into the wall, the contact leaving a two foot dent in the wall.

 

UU: as i said, if i had shot yoU in the face

UU: yoU woUld not be able to argUe the point.

CG: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

UU: i removed yoUr mUtation.

UU: officially, damaged chromosomes from when the condesce attempted to remove yoUr caste from the gene pool.

UU: yoUr body now prodUces the proper color blood.

UU: UnfortUnately, i was Unable to change the blood already produced

UU: and if it had remained in yoUr body, it woUld have been toxic to yoU.

UU: being as i am also not capable of removing the blood magically

UU: it had to leave by some other means.

UU: i did not desire to hUrt yoU

UU: bUt sometimes pain is neccesary.

 

Karkat crawled away from the pool of blood just before collapsing on his side.

 

UU: give it a minUte.

UU: yoU're eqUilibriUm will retUrn shortly.

 

She walks over and settles down on the couch, patting the spot next to her.

 

UU: once it does, we will have mUch to discUss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of people chuckling while writing this chapter.
> 
> For a note, Caliborn is at least indirectly responsible for most of the trolls being crippled as the whole "Make Her Pay" segment was more or less orchestrated by Doc Scratch, who acts as Caliborn/Lord English's avatar. As part of the agreement for the rematch, he and his avatars are no longer allowed to manipulate the beta trolls(other sessions are still fair game). The only thing I'm really adding here is that he's also responsible for Karkat, Equius, and Sollux's mutations.
> 
> I'll go into this more next chapter, but the alteration for the rematch basically boils down to Caliborn getting to change the troll's classpects while Calliope gets to directly interact with the trolls prior to them actually going into the Medium.


	3. Sleepy Time

Karkat had finally regained enough balance to stand without shaking and was taking the opportunity to glare at Calliope instead of accepting the proffered seat.

  


CG: YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DISCUSS?

UU: indeed, thoUgh I had planned to field qUestions first.

UU: do yoU have any qUestions?

CG: WHAT DID HE DO TO ME?

UU: caliborn?

UU: he removed yoUr class and aspect.

CG: WHAT?

UU: it is part of the game.

UU: among other things, it defines yoUr abilities.

UU: and, of coUrse, yoUr land.

UU: I assUme he does not want me to give yoU a cheat sheet.

CG: WHAT IS THE GAME?

UU: and spoil the sUrprise?

UU: yoU and yoU’re friends will know in dUe time.

CG: YOU COULD JUST TELL ME.

UU: bUt that’s no fUn, mister vantas.

UU: don’t yoU want it to be fUn.

CG: FUN IS A LUXURY I CAN’T AFFORD.

UU: except, yoU can.

UU: yoU do not have to hid who yoU are anymore.

UU: and isn’t that what yoU really want to know?

CG: WHAT DID HE DO TO MY FRIENDS?

UU: no fUn at all.

UU: yoU can be, if yoU let yoUrself.

UU: bUt it might be sweeps before someone reverses that prematUre fUnectomy.

CG: CALLIOPE.

UU: fine.

UU: be that way.

CG: GLADLY.

UU: mister captor had brain stem bifUrcation.

UU: nasty piece of work that was.

UU: sUper sUsceptible to attacks of psychic natUre

UU: thoUgh it in tUrn increased his own psychic power.

UU: mister zahhak was given abnormal strength.

  


Karkat interrupted his glare to cock a questioning brow.

  


UU: i did not get it either.

UU: it seemed almost a gift.

UU: Until yoUng mister zahhak showed an aptitUde for robotics and archery.

UU: one of those odd dimensional constants.

UU: miss serket was going to be manipUlated into losing an arm and eye,

UU: blinding miss pyrope,

UU: paralyzing mister nitram,

UU: and killing miss megido.

  


The troll snorted and shook his head.

  


CG: VRISKA?

CG: AS IN, THE GIRL WHO’S NOT ALLOWED TO DM

CG: BECAUSE SHE WON’T ATTACK OUR CHARACTERS?

CG: ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T MEAN THAT CRAZY GIRL TEREZI FOUND?

UU: miss serket is mUch stronger than yoU might think.

UU: in oUr initial match, she was many things.

UU: a monster.

UU: a victim.

UU: a mUrderer.

UU: a fighter.

UU: a general.

UU: a villain.

UU: a hero.

UU: and she still may be.

UU: yoU all are shaped more by yoUr experiences than what yoU were born into.

UU: and everything has jUst barely begUn.

  


Calliope seemed to stare off into the distance, as if lost in a memory.

  


CG: CALLIOPE?

UU: sorry.

UU: remembering another time.

UU: anyways,

UU: mister ampora and miss leijon were too worthy as opponents,

UU: mister makara was too UsefUl a minion,

UU: and miss peixes proved particUlarly untoUchable.

CG: WHAT ABOUT KANAYA?

UU: there was no need.

UU: miss maryam woUld shoUlder the world.

UU: no need to ask,

UU: she seemed to actively look for bUrdens to bear.

  


Karkat shook his head again.

  


CG: AS AMUSING AS THIS IS;

CG: WHICH IS, NOT AT ALL;

CG: YOU DO NOT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND MY FRIENDS PERIOD.

CG: WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET TO THE POINT ALREADY?

  


Calliope attempted to pout in spite of her fangs.

  


UU: absolUtely no fUn.

UU: yoU coUld ask anything

UU: and yoU only care aboUt what we plan to do?

CG: IT DOES SEEM RATHER IMPORTANT.

UU: it is,

UU: bUt there are other things.

UU: when shall yoU ever receive another oppUrtUnity like this?

CG: I’M NOT BENDING TO THE WHIMS OF SOMEONE WHO SHOT ME IN THE FACE.

UU: it can hardly be my whim if yoU wish to know.

CG WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?

UU: jUst a little bit of fUn.

CG: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO US?

UU: caliborn is switching yoUr class and aspects.

CG: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO US?

UU: oh.

UU: yoU will find oUt in dUe time.

CG: YOU SAID I COULD ASK ANYTHING.

UU: I did not mean to imply I woUld answer anything.

  


Karkat settled back into his glare.

  


UU: if it makes yoU feel better, my actions are hardly malicioUs.

UU: i am boUnd by rUles.

UU: i am always boUnd by rUles.

UU: it is part of the natUre of oUr game.

UU: and these rUles define the ways in which i can and cannot interact with the board.

UU: even if yoU will not remember this conversation properly,

UU: there are some things i cannot tell you.

CG: WHY TELL ME ANYTHING, THEN?

UU: it amUses me.

UU: and will continUe to do so for some time.

CG: WHY?

  


Calliope gives a wickedly sweet grin.

  


UU: my alteration is that i get to contact yoU and yoUr friends.

UU: I do believe oUr time together shoUld be cUt short.

UU: time to go to sleep.

  


She flung her hand in front of Karkat’s face, somehow having moved across the room in less than a blink, and a burst of powder poofed him in the face.

  


CG: WHAT THE

CG:

CG: HELL,

CG:

CG:

CG: YOU

CG:

CG:

CG:

CG: BITCH.

He swiped and stumbled, snoring before he hit the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat was not very amenable to my plans for this chapter, which you'll have probably picked up on from Calliope.
> 
> Vriska, Nepeta, and any other character you may feel has changed from the way they've been mentioned in this chapter, don't worry too much about it. While some change will be inevitable, A LOT of the change is more attributable to a) things like Vriska hasn't started feeding spider-mom yet and Equius and Nepeta aren't moirals yet, and b) the few things that have been stated are through the filter of a younger Karkat.


	4. Blood Talk

carcinoGeneticist began trolling cuttlefishCuller

CG: HEY.

CG: SHIT.

CG: NEVERMIND.

CG: I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THIS.

CG: SORRY FEFERI.

CC: Karcrab?

CC: Is somet)(ing wrong?

CG: NO!

CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

CG: WHY WOULD YOU THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG?

CC: You messaged me, silly.

CC: We all know you only glub to t)(e drama geeks.

CG: THAT’S IT.

CG: I’M TELLING ERIDAN YOU CALLED HIM A DRAMA GEEK.

CC: O)( cod, no.

CC: )(e won’t settle for anyt)(ing less t)(an drama queen.

CG: DAMN STRAIGHT HE WON’T.

CG: NOW YOU SHALL BEND TO MY EVERY WHIM!

CC: O)( no!

CC: W)(at is your w)(im?

CG:

CG:

CG: I HADN’T THOUGHT THAT FAR AHEAD.

CG: I SUPPOSE I CAN HOLD ONTO THIS FOR SOME LATER DESIRE.

CC: You would )(old t)(is over poor little innocent me?

CG: YOU THREATENED TO SIT ON EQUIUS IF HE DIDN’T STOP TRYING TO FORCE ME TO REVEAL MY BLOOD COLOR.

CC: You would )(old t)(is over poor innocent me?

CG: YOU’RE WEARING YOUR GOLD BANGLES, AREN’T YOU?

CC: 38(

CC: I suppose you )(ave somet)(ing against innocent too.

CG: IF YOU WERE INNOCENT, I WOULDN’T HAVE BLACKMAIL ON YOU.

CC: -Extortionist.

CG: WHY ELSE WOULD ERIDAN AND I GET ALONG SO WELL?

CC: Glub.

CG: GLUB INDEED.

CG: BUT FEAR NOT.

CG: I HAVE DECIDED UPON MY WHIM.

CC: Be still my pulsing blood pus)(er.

CG: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM.

CC:38O

CC: OH

CC: MY

CC: COD!

CC: IS T)(IS FOR R-E-EL?

CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB

CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB

CG: FEFERI, BREATHE.

CC: You never want to glub aboat anyt)(ing involving blood!

CG: WELL, DON’T TELL ANYONE.

CG: THAT’S A MAJOR PART OF THE WHIM.

CC: Glub

CC: Are you dropping t)(e veil of anonymity?

CG: FUCK NO.

CG: NOT ON YOUR LIFE, PRINCESS.

CG: THIS IS ABOUT POLITICS, NOT BIOLOGY.

CC: Politics is determined by biology.

CG: IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

CG: DO YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE DETERMINED BY BIOLOGY?

CC: It determines everyt)(ing else.

CG: LIKE YOUR FRIENDSHIPS?

CC: T)(at’s.

CC: No.

CC: T)(at’s knot w)(at I mean.

CG: THEN, TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HEMOSPECTRUM.

CG: TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN.

CC: W)(ale, t)(e current structure )(as trolls lower on t)(e spectrum being oppressed by t)(ose )(ig)(er on it.

CC: T)(is means trolls pike Aradia and Tavros live in constant fear of even t)(e most innocuous of actions.

CC: -Even t)(e middle ground trolls )(ave muc)( to fear because t)(ey are expected to keep t)(e caste below t)(em in c)(eck and will be punis)(ed for too many indiscretions of t)(eir...inferior.

CC: -Ergo, if Aradia messes up, s)(e gets punis)(ed.

CC: But, if twelve Aradia’s mess up, Tavros also gets punis)(ed, and so fort)(.

CC: It’s just a system of fear and punis)(ment all t)(e wave up, designed to stop revolution against t)(e very system.

CG: YEAH, YEAH, THE HEMOSPECTRUM SUCKS.

CC: T)(at’s w)(at I want to c)(ange.

CG: YOU WANT TO MAKE THE HEMOSPECTRUM NOT SUCK?

CC: Of course.

CG: THAT’S THE DUMBEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD.

CC: Karcrab!

CG: THE HEMOSPECTRUM SUCKS BECAUSE IT IS THE HEMOSPECTRUM.

CC: But, if it were restructured so t)(at you took care of t)(ose below you on t)(e spectrum, it mig)(t knot.

CG: LIKE PETS?

CC: No.

CC: Stop twisting my words.

CG: STOP SAYING STUPID SHIT.

CC: W)(at’s t)(e matter wit)( making t)(e )(emospectrum great?

CG: WHY DOES ANYONE NEED THE HEMOSPECTRUM TO DETERMINE HOW THEY SHOULD ACT?

CG: EQUIUS AND ERIDAN ARE NERVOUS WRECKS MOST OF THE TIME.

CG: GAMZEE AND ARADIA ARE TWO OF THE HAPPIEST TROLLS WE KNOW.

CG: COULD IT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT THEY DON’T GIVE TWO SHITS ABOUT THE SPECTRUM?

CC: T)(at’s just because t)(e current implementation is bad.

CC: -Eridan and -Equius pike kelping otters, but t)(ey’re actively reprimanded for trying to do so.

CG: DO YOU THINK THAT’S A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO HAVE GAMZEE OR VRISKA TAKING CARE OF OTHERS?

CG: DO YOU THINK THAT ARADIA OR TEREZI WANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF?

CG: I’M NOT SAYING WE NEED TO KEEP THE CURRENT SYSTEM,

CG: BUT CAN SOMEONE OPT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM TOO?

CC: W)(y would anyone want to do t)(at?

CG: I WANT TO DO THAT!

CG: I DON’T WANT SOMEONE SCRATCHING MY ARM TO SEE WHO SHOULD TAKE CARE OF ME ANYMORE THAN I WANT THEM SCRATCHING MY ARM TO SEE WHO CAN CULL ME.

CG: IT’S DEGRADING.

CC: It doesn’t )(ave to be.

CG: HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE SOMEONE LIKE ME, WHO REMAINS ANONYMOUS?

CC: Just because you )(ave anonymity doesn’t mean I don’t know w)(at you are.

CG: WHAT?

CC: I’m t)(e )(eiress apparent.

CC: T)(ere’s knot a lot of information t)(at I can’t get.

CC: S)(-E is going to try to krill me.

CG: FEFERI.

CC: No, I alreedy know.

CC: If I want to make t)(ings baitter, I need to krill )(er.

CC: And in turn, s)(e will try to krill me.

CC: But t)(ere’s t)(is sort of fair play rule,

CC: So our society )(as t)(e best leader.

CG: YEAH?

CC: S)(-E can’t cripple me or try to )(ave me assassinated.

CC: Can’t do anyt)(ing to me until eit)(er I c)(allenge )(er or am twelve sweeps.

CC: T)(e fig)(t of succession isn’t aboat surfvival so muc)( as it is aboat wort)(.

CG: SO?

CC: -Eridan and I reed aboat )(istory a lot.

CC: T)(e last five )(eiress’s, at t)(e least, just took a bunc)( of violet bloods and tried to woofbeastpile )(er.

CG: HOW’D THAT WORK OUT?

CC: Aboat as w)(ale as expected.

CC: I’m knot afraid to die, but I don’t want to just be another footnote of failure in t)(e )(istory books.

CC: W)(et)(er or knot I succeed, I want to s)(ow t)(at all trolls can come toget)(er.

CC: So, I searc)(ed for t)(ose wit)( signs connected to different blood colors.

CG: WHICH MAKES YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I AM?

CC: I know w)(at you are.

CC: And so does s)(e, if s)(e’s paying any attention.

CG: AND WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?

CC: Na)(.

CC: Knot going to break your anonymity w)(ere salmon pike Sollux can fin it.

CC: If you continue acting pitc)(, blasting your identity mig)(t be t)(e sort of flirting )(e’d engage in.

CG: SOLLUX ISN’T PITCH FOR SOME NOOKSTAIN LIKE ME.

CG: YOU JUST DON’T WANT TO SAY BECAUSE YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW.

CC: You’re welcome to come to my )(ive and I’ll tell you in person.

CC: Just remember.

CC: T)(e resources you were given to build your )(ive were decided by w)(at caste you belong to.

CC: W)(at makes you t)(ink t)(at information isn’t just sitting somew)(ere.

cuttlefishCuller ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist.

CG: FUCK.

CG: SHIT.

CG: FUCKING SHIT!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, you can actually thank Blood Pride by HowlingArmadillo for this chapter. Originally, it was going to be Karkat revealing his blood color to Kanaya and asking her to keep it quiet. I'm not planning on them having a contentious enough relationship to actually be a kismesis, but his portrayal of these two characters gave me a definitive idea of how some of the trolls are going to interact.
> 
> I'm not actually at a point where I'm really going to be talking about romances planned or not. There are a couple I'm actively building towards in my layout, and a few I'd rather avoid for some reason or another, but for the most part every one has completely open quadrants that are open to change. Except Nepeta and Equius's diamond, because I'm not a monster.


	5. Blink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sollux discovers something has gone wrong.

He blinks.

His eyes are blue.

He blinks.

His eyes are red.

He blinks.

His eyes are blue.

He winks his left eye.

His eyes stay blue.

TA: the fuck ii2 thii2 2hiit?

He blinks.

His eyes are red.

TA: for fuck2 2ake, what ii2 wrong wiith me?

He steps away from the mirror. Staring at his reflection isn’t going to help anyone. For fucks sake, he’s probably going to have to go to the mediculler.

A ping sounds off from his computer.

gallowsCalibrator began trolling twinArmageddons

GC: MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST!

GC: DO YOU COPY?

GC: 1 R3QU1R3 T3CHN1C4L 4SS1ST4NC3

GC: 1T 1S OF TH3 UTMOST 1MPORT4NC3

He blinks.

He notices the tinting more for Terezi’s words nearly disappearing than anything else.

He blinks again.

TA: iim 2ort of bu2y riight now, tz.

TA: 2omethiing2 wrong wiith my eye2.

GC: 1LL B3 QU1CK

GC: HOP3FULLY

GC: 1 4M F33L1NG 4LL SORTS OF LUCKY TOD4Y

TA: can thii2 waiit for liike, two 2econd2?

TA: iim 2eriiou2ly freakiing out here.

GC: DO YOU W4NT TO T4LK 4BOUT 1T?

TA: fuck no!

TA: ye2.

GC: W3LL, WH1CH 1S 1T?

TA: both.

TA: ii dont want two talk about iit, but ii thiink ii need to.

TA: my eye2 arent workiing.

GC: DOOFUS

GC: YOUR3 LOOK1NG 4T 4 COMPUT3R SCR33N

TA: not liike that.

TA: theyre diifferent color2 now.

GC: YOUR3 NOT MR 4PPL3B3RRRY BL4ST 4NYMOR3?

TA: no.

TA: ii mean, theyre 2tiill blue and red, but not at the 2ame tiime anymore.

GC: >:?

GC: W3R3NT TH3Y 4LW4YS TH3 D1FF3R3NT COLORS?

TA: well, now they arent diifferent.

TA: theyre the 2ame color at the 2ame tiime, but alternate every tiime ii bliink.

TA: and iit2 2eriiou2ly freakiing me the fuck out.

GC: C4LM DOWN

GC: J3GUS

TA: ii cant calm down.

TA: my eye2 are broken.

GC: C4N YOU ST1LL S33?

TA: yeah?

GC: TH3N YOUR 3Y3S 4R3 NOT BROK3N

TA: tz, thii2 ii2 2eriiou2.

GC: YOU K33P S4Y1NG TH4T

TA: that2 becau2e iit2 true!

GC: H4S 4NYTH1NG 3LS3 CH4NG3D?

TA: well, everythiing ha2 a color fiilter ba2ed on the color of my eye2.

TA: kiind of make2 iit diiffiicult two read your text every other tiime ii bliink.

GC: 4ND TH4TS 1T?

TA: 2top makiing iit 2ound 2o 2mall.

GC: W3LL, YOUR3 NOT DY1NG

GC: 4ND YOUR3 NOT BL1ND

GC: ULT1M4T3LY, YOU JUST H4V3 TO ROLL W1TH 1T

TA: that ii2 the 2tupiidii2t 2hiit iive ever heard.

GC: TH3 FUCK 1T 1S

GC: YOU T4LK TO K4RKL3S

TA: at lea2t kk would grou2e wiith me about the whole thiing.

GC: TH3N M4YB3 YOU SHOULD GO 4ND CRY ON H1S SHOULD3R

TA: maybe ii wiill.

TA: iit would 2erve you riight.

GC: YOU WOULDNT D4R3

TA: oh yeah?

twinArmageddons ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator

This was really petty. But he was a petty person, so he could live with that.

twinArmageddons began trolling carcinoGeneticist

TA: hey, kk.

CG: FUCK OFF.

CG: I'M BUSY.

TA: 2eriiou2ly?

CG: CRABDAD IS THROWING A BITCHFIT.

CG: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH ONE OF YOURS AS WELL.

carcinoGeneticist blocked twinArmageddons

Karkat had blocked him. He didn’t even have the opportunity to get a barb in. Yeah, fuck that noise.

twinArmageddons unblocked twinArmageddons

TA: dont flutter your 2eedflap at me liike that, you nookliickiing a22hole.

CG: YOU GOGDAMN BRAIDEAD ASWAD.

CG: I AM FUCKING BUSY.

TA: how iincon2iiderate of me two come two you when ii have a problem, you 2liimy turd waffle.

CG: GO TROLL TEREZI.

CG: I BET SHE COULD USE A MOIRAL.

TA: and you dont?

CG: IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHO FILLS MY QUADRANTS.

carcinoGeneticist blocked twinArmageddons

carcinoGeneticist unblocked twinArmageddons

CG: WE'RE STILL FRIENDS, RIGHT?

TA: yeah.

CG: COOL.

CG: NOW, AS SAID, I HAVE A BITCHFIT TO DEAL WITH.

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling twinArmageddons

Sollux sighs. That did not go the way he expected at all. He turned back to the other open window.

GC: TH1S 1S STUP1D

GC: YOUR3 GO1NG TO G3T 1NTO 4NOTH3R 4RGUM3NT TH4T L34DS NOWH3R3

GC: G3T 4LL HUFFY W1TH 34CH OTH3R

GC: PROB4BLY ST4RT 4RGU1NG 4BOUT SOM3 S1LLY PROGR4MM1NG TH1NG

GC: G3TT1NG 4LL UP 1N 34CH OTH3RS F4C3

GC: 4ND TH3N YOU RU1N TH3 3NT1R3 TH1NG BY 4POLOG1Z1NG TO 34CH OTH3R

GC: 31TH3R FOLLOW THROUGH OR STOP FL1RT1NG

GC: YOU M1GHT TH1NK YOUR3 BL4CK FOR 34CH OTH3R, BUT K4RKL3S H4S 4 B3TT3R M4TCH 1N MR MUSCL3B34ST

TA: Eheheheh

TA: kk could do better than an abomiinatiion me, but no one de2erve2 two end up wiith that ra2cii2t jacka22.

TA: youve been talkiing about 2hiippiing a lot lately.

TA: ever 2iince you met that cave troll.

TA: everythiing alriight?

GC: SH3S 1NS4T14BL3

GC: 4ND 1TS 4DOR4BL3

GC: BUT 1T ST4RTS TO 1NF3CT YOUR M1ND

GC: SH3 R34DS ROM4NC3 COM1CS

GC: SH3 WR1T3S ROM4NC3 COM1CS

TA: maybe 2he 2hould talk two kk.

GC: OH R1GHT

GC: 1 N33D3D TO T4LK TO YOU FOR 4 R34SON

GC: OUR N3W FR13ND DO3SNT H4V3 4 COMPUT1NG D3V1C3 OF 4NY K1ND

TA: your new friiend.

GC: YOUR3 GO1NG TO M4K3 H3R S4D

TA: dont care.

TA: pa22.

GC: CMON

GC: SH3 DO3SNT H4V3 4NY OTH3R FR13NDS

GC: POOR D34RS PR4CT1C4LLY F3R4L

TA: youre practiically feral.

GC: YOUR3 NOT WRONG

GC: 4LL TH3 MOR3 R34SON 1 SHOULD G3T H3R 1N CONT4CT W1TH MY FR13NDS

GC: YOU 4R3 4LR34DY US3D TO D34L1NG W1TH F3R4LS W4ND3R1NG TH3 WOODS

TA: that2 your eviil plan then?

TA: make u2 2pend all our tiime thiinkiing about 2hiippiing?

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H3H

GC: TH4TS NOT 4 B4D 1D34

GC: BUT 1TS MOR3 4BOUT SPR34D1NG TH3 SUFF3R1NG 4ROUND

TA: ??

GC: 1 DONT TH1NK SH3LL T4LK 4BOUT SH1PP1NG MOR3

GC: TH3 POUNC3LOR W1LL JUST H4V3 MOR3 P3OPL3 TO SPR34D TH3 D1SCUSS1ON 4MONGST

GC: M1GHT 3V3N DO SOM3 TROLLS SOM3 GOOD

GC: WH1CH ST1LL M34NS L3SS FOR M3

TA: how pragmatiic.

GC: KN3W YOU WOULD 4PPROV3

GC: NOW

GC: H3LP M3 OUT W1TH T3CH SUPPORT

TA: fiine.

TA: what do you need?

GC: SOM3TH1NG FOR TH3 4RT1ST ON TH3 GO

GC: SH3 S4YS 1T H4S TO B3 L1GHTW31GHT

GC: C4NT 1NT3RF3R3 W1TH H3R HUNT1NG

TA: II 2uppo2e iit 2hould be durable, too?

GC: HOLD ON

GC: :33 < Yeah, that would purbably be fur the best

TA: what the 2hiit?

GC: :33 < The wiley huntress also lives in a cave

GC: :33 < She will purbably n33d this energy whatsit

TA: the anthraciite con2umptiion apparatu2?

GC: :33 < Yeah!

GC: SH3LL 4LSO N33D YOUR B3ST PROT3CT1ON

GC: SOM3 OF TH3 STUFF SH3 W4NTS TO SH4R3 1S JUST 1NS4N3

TA: okay.

TA: let me a2k around for a few thiing2.

TA: iill get back two you once ii know where ii 2hould get 2ome part2.

GC: T4LK TO YOU L4T3R

twinArmageddons ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator

Well, it's a simple enough set up, though Sollux should probably plan to add a few things so that they don't bug him about it more later. He sighes and blinks again.

His eyes are blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was mostly written for fun. Sollux and Terezi would make great moirals and it seems that nobody writes it. Though I, y'know, might be missing something and it can be kind of hard to look stuff up with that particular bent since AO3 doesn't have exclusion searching and FF.net doesn't have additional tags, much less searching by those tags. I don't know.
> 
> Heh, I feel bad having cut Sollux and Karkat's conversation short. In my short time in writing within the fandom, Sollux and Karkat are turning into my favorite characters to write, and while I was looking forward to doing their first conversation, this definitely wasn't when or how I wanted what I have planned to go down. I could have probably used Aradia for that section, but it wouldn't have fulfilled the point of irritating Terezi.
> 
> Sollux's eyes: This is probably never going to be really explained within the text, except as an allusion back in chapter 2. As Calliope stated, there are limits to what she can do with her magic. With Karkat, she can't change the color of the blood that already exists in his body so much as change the color of blood his body produces. Immediately this meant expelling all the red blood from his body, but more long term it means that any scars he already had would remain red while any scar tissue from now on would be his new blood color. For Sollux, she couldn't just fix his brain, but she could change the way it worked. In the immediacy, it means his eyes are still two-toned, though separated by when he closes his eyes. It'll be more apparent later, but in the long term, it will affect how his psionics work. Additionally, Equius will no longer have his super strength, but he still has the muscles he already had. Most of his problems are more likely to be self-inflicted from having made robots designed to attack his super strength self.
> 
> Next chapter: Aradia and Eridan actually get into some action instead of just talking the talk.


	6. Ghost Story

It was a dark and stormy night.

eheheheheheheheh

I know, right? I never thought I'd get to use that one in all sincerity. Yet here we are, a double new moon in the middle of a storm.

 

She sighs. This was supposed to be a simple errand. Collect some parts. Visit her...well, not matesprit. That boy was so duplicitous in his speech it would be aggravating were it not intentional. It was still aggravating, though for different reasons. And it wasn't even the ghosts. Aradia'd already accepted that she was just simply always going to be haunted. A way of life. An adversity to deal with. But this new one. Oh this new ghost. It just could not stop trying to turn her life into an adventure story.

 

AA: will you stop narrating

AA: its barely a drizzle

AA: much less a storm

The dazzling maroon blooded adventurer bickers with the voices in her head over current meteorological conditions instead of entering the abandoned shipwreck just ahead.

AA: i can bicker and walk at the same time

 

As if to demonstrate, Aradia quickly scampered to the ship's hull, looking for a good entrance to get out of the rain,

 

The archaeologist continues looking for a viable entrance into the no longer space worthy vehicle to escape from the pouring rain.

This one would like to argue the use of such a made up word.

Would it not be more appropriate for her to be an excavatacutioner?

AA: that would mean i execute excavations

 

She stopped, a smile crossing her visage.

 

AA: i kind of like it

The ARCHAEOLOGIST seems to have disproved her claim in being able to bicker and walk at the same time. She stares at the unrelenting hull uselessly.

 

Her smile was quickly exchanged for a scowl.

 

AA: its not uselessly

 

Pointing upwards, she indicates an airlock some fifteen meters above her head.

 

AA: one of the airlocks is up there

AA: im trying to figure out the best way to get up there

The amazing archaeologist seems to have missed the massive hull breach that is just at ground level ten meters in that direction.

You're new here.

You wouldn't be aware of how bad an idea that is.

Unless you do and are trying to get our only connection to the living world severed.

AA: how caring of you

The heroine of this narrative is still ignoring the easy access into the abandoned wreck to instead attempt breaking into an out of reach airlock.

eheheheheheheheh

 

She looses the whip from her side, uncoiling it. Giving a few test flicks, she then snaps it up to snag around a loose panel. Pulling at the leather material and satisfying herself that it was secure, she begins climbing up the side of the ship.

 

AA: the ship has been sitting here for a week

AA: anything easily accessible is likely infested with undead

The heroic adventurer...adventuress? The heroic maroon troll continues to dedicate herself to her confusingly complicated and difficult form of suicide, using her rather archaic whip to climb the outside of the hull.

 

Her foot slips, and she slams against the hull. Instinctively, she mentally reaches down below her and yanks out the corner of another panel and catches her foot on it.

 

AA: my name is aradia

AA: if youre going to insist on narrating you could at least use my name

The reckless juvenile gives useless narrative advice considering the number of wonderful words that are so descriptively applicable to her.

Are you actually writing this all down?

Where did you even get pen and paper?

 

She yanks apart the next panel up and uses the resulting holes to facilitate her climb.

 

The Ghost Writer needs not answer such questions, especially in the midst of our scrupulous psychic cheating in her climb by yanking a foothold out of the wreck.

eheheheheheheheh

AA: that was a horrible pun

AA: what did we do to be subjected to that

The strapping young lass called into question the capabilities of the narrator.

You refuse to use proper nouns or pronouns.

It's hardly any surprise you never became a proper novelist.

 

Aradia stops, now even with the airlock.

 

Our dashing heroine has finally made it to the unsurprisingly locked and shut airlock door.

eheheheheheheheh

 

Giggle Snorts points out keys to press on the external keypad, allowing the door to slide open.

 

Now, that's just cheating. The airlock opens of its own accord, admitting the absurdly lucky into the belly of the ship.

AA: i can commune with ghosts

AA: who am i to argue if they choose to help me

 

Aradia nimbly enters the airlock, escaping from the light rain.

 

The stalwart hero is supposed to face down impossible odds, not receive cheat codes from half insane spectres.

AA: my life isnt a narrative nor a video game

AA: it is not fair or right to ask someone to overcome impossible odds because youre bored

AA: especially since impossible odds are exactly that

I'm a higher blood than you. You should be at my beck and call.

AA: you dont have any blood

I did once. You should revere what it was.

 

She walks down a corridor, rolling her eyes even as she follows directions from her palmhusk.

 

You will listen to me.

 

It's not too long before she reaches the ship's bridge. Aradia lifts several loose pieces of equipment to barricade the entrance.

 

You will do as I say.

 

She figures she'll be here for a while, deconstructing some of the equipment. Just yanking it out might be quicker, after all, but would likely damage the parts Sollux needs.

 

The heroine acknowledges her betters in the affirmative.

 

Aradia snarls, spinning to face the ghost harassing her. A cobalt with a nasty leer, as if he'd already won. No contest, he was the top of the pile.

 

AA: you are not my better

AA: go

AA: AWAY!

 

There is a flash of black and his leer becomes pained. He grimaces and scowls, and glares at her angrily.

 

I...will not...be or...dered...a...

 

And he's gone, faded away into nothingness. The rest of the ghosts stare for but a moment before quickly fleeing from her. Just like that, she's no longer haunted. Alone.

 

Funny how no one ever tells you how lonely being alone actually is.

 

 

apocalypseArisen started trolling twinArmageddons

 

AA: i am in the ship

AA: h0w d0 i take these things apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so...no Eridan. He was definitely in my outline but I ended up with an errant ghost instead.
> 
> By the way, don't be afraid to leave any comments. I enjoy knowing what people think about my work a lot more than simple acknowledgment that they like it. It helps me in learning where I need to improve and just getting better.


	7. Hunger Pains

arachnidsGrip began trolling cuttlefishCuller

AG: So........

AG: My Lusus is hungry.

CC: W)(ale, feed it, silly.

AG: You would say that.

AG: My Lusus is hungry and she won't eat anything.

AG: Kind of eyeing me real funny.

AG: Making my guests feel uncomforta8le.

CC: Since w)(en do you )(ave guests?

AG: I'll have you know.

AG: Shut up.

CC: )(ee )(ee )(ee.

AG: I'm very popular.

AG: So many irons in the fire.

AG: All of them as a matter of fact.

AG: So many people want my advice and time.

CC: Don't you just s)(ake magic eig)(t balls.

AG: Shush, you.

AG: They don't know that.

AG: n;avwnva.,sj;iaosd

CC: Vriska?

AG: Spidermom is screeching and scratching at the cliff!!!!!!!!

AG: This is just so gogdamn unnerving.

AG: I think she wants to eat me.

CC: S)(ell, t)(at's w)(at your Lusus type does.

AG: IT RAISED ME JUST SO IT COULD 8T ME????????

CC: O)( glub no.

CC: Your Lusus isn't going to eat you.

AG: That's a relief.

CC: W)(ale, s)(e mig)(t.

AG: WHAT????????

CC: But t)(at's knot w)(y it c)(ose you t)(oug)(.

CC: T)(at's knot w)(at it raised you for.

AG: What are you trying to say?

CC: Ug)(.

CC: Part of me can't believe )(ow many people I'm coming clean to recently.

CC: Part of me is surfprised it's taken t)(is long for anyone to ask.

CC: Did you ever t)(ink of w)(y an arac)(nid lusus picked you?

AG: Duh.

AG: 8ecause spiders are awesome.

AG: And I'm awesome.

AG: O8viously, together we're awesome squared.

CC: 3B(

AG: What?

CC: I'm tempted to tell Terezi you're over )(ere making mat)( jokes.

AG: Noooooooo!!!!!!!!

AG: 8lackmailer!

CC: I prefer extortionist.

AG: The x does m8ke it sound cooler.

CC: Glub!

CC: I know, rig)(t?

CC: Okay, w)(y does t)(e )(eiress apparent become your friend?

AG: Well, I'm awesome.

AG: 8y the associative property, you're awesome too.

CC: Is t)(at t)(e reelly t)(e answer you're going wit)(?

AG: Everyone does know I'm the radical of the group.

CC: 3B|

AG: What?

CC: S)(ould I be expecting five more of t)(ese?

AG: Noooooooo........

AG: I'm perfectly capa8le of using other varia8les.

CC: T)(en you won't mind if I keep count?

AG: They do seem to 8e adding up.

AG: ;aswldghhifbh;aws/ih/n;abr'

AG: As much as I'm enjoying this 8ack and forth, may8e we should get to the point.

CC: S)(ore, Ms. Mat)( Jokes.

CC: W)(y does our Lusii c)(oose us?

AG: I think you should just tell me.

CC: To groom us into t)(e roles society needs.

AG: Well, a giant spider screeching and clawing at me is totally making me a 8etter troll.

CC: In a manner.

CC: Rust bloods learn servitude.

CC: Greens learn societal roles.

CC: Blues learn nobility.

CC: And Purples learn military.

AG: Not feeling particularly no8le right now.

CC: If you'll let me get to it.

CC: Cobalt blood occasionally produces a particularly vicious member to it's caste.

CC: A )(unter.

CC: A kriller.

CC: T)(e Spider.

CC: Or arac)(nid?

CC: Ancient troll can be ambiguous to translate.

CC: I t)(ink t)(e previous Serket was a scorpion.

AG: My ancestor had a scorpion Lusus?

CC: Maybe?

CC: Records are usually only kept for t)(ose w)(o reac)( adult)(ood.

CC: W)(o knows )(ow many Serket's just codn't live up to t)(e ideal.

AG: Chalk up another one.

AG: I'm no killer.

CC: Vriska...

AG: I feel 8ad hitting fictional go8lins in a pen and paper game.

AG: I guess you're going to tell me Spidermom will eat me if I don't feed her someone else.

CC: We're knot going to let t)(at )(appen.

CC: I'm in a similar situation, you know.

CC: Madame )(orrorterror eats Lusii.

AG: Are you going to feed my Lusus to yours?

CC: Do you want me to?

AG:

CC:

AG:

CC: Vriska?

AG: Noooooooo........

AG: Though the screeching m8kes it tempting.

CC: Look, I don't want you to be a kriller.

CC: And I'm trying to work toward an empire w)(ere you won't )(ave to be.

CC: But rig)(t now, you do.

CC: So t)(at you can surfvive into our brave new world.

AG: Is-

AG: Why is Eridan standing at the 8ottom of my cliff?

AG: Oh Gog, he's dragging someone!!!!!!!!

 

arachnidGrips ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller

 

CC: I'll drag all my friends t)(ere kicking and screaming if I )(ave to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so Feferi's sort of getting the short end of the stick so far, because I'm kinda using her as the exposition fairy. This is kind of funny to me, cause she was actually originally going to be the main character when I first started writing down my plot outline for this, before I decided to use the Cherubs messing with sBurb as my framing device. However, unlike chapter four, which was supposed to feature Kanaya instead of Feferi, this was a deliberate shift from (assumed) canon. The assumption being that Vriska reached out to Terezi and they formed the Scourge Sisters, whereas she reached out to Feferi here because she was at least vaguely aware their circumstances were similar.
> 
> Similarly, Feferi is a much more active proponent here than she seemed to have been in canon, being largely responsible for most of the trolls getting to know each other and generally being that little bit more conniving that makes fanfiction Feferi more entertaining to read.
> 
> Vriska is a fun character, but I don't see a lot of stories that ever explore the idea that she is bitter at Spidermom for turning her into a killer or regrets that she didn't grow up somewhere like Earth or that she is generally an awkward teenager who is kind of a hopeless romantic or even that a lot of her actions from shortly before entering sGrub up too the end of the comic are her flirting with others or trying(struggling) not to be an awful person when that's all she's been for a long time. While I generally agree that John's time teleportation powers were misused, I don't think bringing Vriska back was a bad use. Rather, not bringing the other seven trolls back was.


	8. Favor

AwW mAn No.

 

He was a wisp of a troll, obviously slender in spite of being swaddled in clothes made for someone much larger. His glasses were square and bulky, and barely seemed to help his squinting one bit.

 

Ii DoNt WwAnT tWwO dIiE.

 

Everything about him spoke to the fact that he was a runt. Someone who shouldn't have hatched, much less survived outside the brooding caverns.

 

PlEa2e LeT mE gO.

 

Yet here he was, dragging a troll nearly double his size along the bottom of a cliff. A rifle was slung over his shoulder, a scowl upon his features and he yanked the blubbering fool to his feet, getting a few steps out of him before he collapsed to his knees again. The screeches and scraping from a cave have in the cliff have only gotten louder.

 

YoU dOnT hAvVe TwWo KiIlL mE.

CA: Clam up

CA: Cant you sea Im doin you a favvor

 

The troll merely trembles in response, teal running down their face.

 

CA: Youre alreedy dead

CA: Just dont knoww it yet

Ii DoNt WwAnT tWwO dIiE.

CA: Dont you get it

CA: Your Lusus is gone

CA: Your hivve demolished

PlEa2e DoNt KiIlL mE.

CA: If I dont salmon else wwill

CA: Or youll starvve in some back alley

 

He yanks the troll up again and pushes him forward.

 

CA: The least you can do is face death wwith some dignity

PlEa2e.

IiLl Do AnY-

 

SMACK!

 

The meaty sound echoes after his rings connect with the troll's cheeks.

 

CA: I said clam up

CA: You are bein givven the opportunaty to be of servvice to the empire

CA: Wwould you reelly turn your nose up at that

Ii DoNt-

PlEa2e DoNt KiIlL mE.

CA: For the lovve of-

CA: Im knot goin to krill you

 

The troll still had tears flowing down his face as he looked up at the runt.

 

Y-yOuRe NoT?

CA: Of course knot

CA: If you wwere wworth krilling

 

He flashes a toothy grin with his shark like teeth.

 

CA: Youd be dead alongside your Lusus

CA: WWhy wwould I botter draggin you to some seaside cliff

CA: I dont get anythin out of givvin you a death wwith a vvieww

IiT2 KiInD oF a CrUmMy VvIiEwW.

CA: Noww I wwouldnt say that

CA: Its got atmosphere

2tIiLl PrEtTy CrUmMy.

AG: Eridan?

AG: What are you doing?

 

A slender girl had arrived from one of the caves hidden in the cliff. She stood tall, an unkempt mane of hair framing her face and upper body. Her expression was obscured by over large glasses and the glint of moonlight bouncing off of them, though the tremor of her voice betrayed weariness, the tatters her sleeves ended in spoke of neglect.

 

CA: Ah Vris

CA: Right on time

 

Eridan flashes another grin.

 

CA: WWe wwere just speakin of your decor and also the fate of this young

CA: Eh

CA: WWhale I hesitate to call him a gentleman

 

The troll practically beamed at Vriska, the tear streaks down his cheeks already starting to dry.

 

He 2aIiD hE wWa2nT gOiIn TwWo KiIlL mE.

CA: If you wwere payin attention I actually offered you the opportunaty to be of servvice to the empire

CA: One wwould think that wwas the most important of the twwo

 

She took a half step back into the cave, her frown deepening.

 

AG: I'm no killer, Eridan.

AG: Ain't going to change that.

CA: Am I supposed to be surfprised

 

He kicks the larger troll, driving him down on all fours.

 

CA: I told Fef you wwerent good enough to be part of her inner circle

CA: Too wweak

CA: Too sheltered

CA: But I made a promise

 

Eridan reached down and grabbed the other troll's collar, tossing him to Vriska's feet.

 

CA: By my wword youre goin to surfvvivve

CA: You wwill evven come to revvel in your deadliness

YoU 2AiId YoU wWoUlDnT kIiLl Me.

CA: Im knot

CA: She is

AG: No, I'm not.

Oh ThAnK yOu ThAnK yOu ThA-

 

He stops suddenly, to Eridan's glee and Vriska's horror. A white, spindly leg has skewered the former troll from head to tail. Teal blood slowly drips to the ground as the body is lifted up and up and-

 

CRUNCH!

 

She can feel it almost as much as having heard it. Fascination and queasiness at the sound of her Lusus eating war with one another for control, but queasiness wins out when an arm falls in front of her with a wet thump. At the sight of the slight pool of blood spreading from the limb, she drops to her knees and retches out the contents of her stomach.

 

CA: I said she is

 

The leg stabs down again, and the limb is gone with a slurp and deafening crunch.

 

CA: That should buy you some time

CA: Tomorroe Im goin to take you to fin and brin back your owwn vvictim

 

Eridan shoots a pitying look at what had been an admittedly ill defined meal.

 

CA: And by the empire eat some reel food

CA: Ill havve you doin reel wwork

 

* * *

 

Vriska doesn't know how long it's been since he left, rifle slung over his shoulder. She just couldn't stop listening to her Lusus. The slurp of meat, the crunching of bones, horrible in its own way, but somehow comforting. She'd forgotten what it was like not to constantly listen to screeching and scratching. To the rattle of rocks and the shaking of her hive. Not quiet, but a calm.

 

Eventually, she finds her legs and makes her way back to her respiteblock. She sits at her husktop and opens up trollian.

 

arachnidsGrip began trolling caligulasAquarium

 

She tries to write scathing remarks but her hands freeze over the keyboard. Her gut feeling is gone. No sense of if this is a good choice or not. Just...words.

 

arachnidsGrip ceased trolling caligulasAquarium

 

arachnidsGrip began trolling cuttlefishCuller

 

arachnidsGrip ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller

 

Nothing there either. Not like earlier when talking to Terezi felt wrong and talking to Feferi felt right.

 

arachnidsGrip began trolling gallowsCalibrator

 

WHOA! Bad feeling, bad feeling.

 

arachnidsGrip ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator

 

Her head was pounding. Tocking and ticking. Telling Terezi about this was apparently a really bad idea. Vriska scanned the rest of her contacts. Equius felt empty. So did Karkat. Kanaya was bad. Aradia was better. But...

 

arachnidsGrip began trolling twinArmageddons

 

AG: Am I a terri8le troll?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone didn't guess it at the end of Aradia's chapter, all of our heroes already have a vague sense of their classpect and at least a tiny level of control. In canon, this can be seen with Aradia "subtly" manipulating events so that the right thing happened at the right time in the right order, Vriska nudging events to go her way(and probably not her way when she was feeling guilty. I could do a whole character study on Vriska, but the gist I'm going for is that I think her stint of bad luck was self-inflicted and not actually something Doc Scratch did to her. She started having good luck again once she felt she'd paid her due by Aradia killing her), Rose intuitively placing sBurb gear in lucky spots that prevented John's dad from interfering with John starting the game, Terezi being cognitively aware of others thought processes and being more or less immune to mind control, and Mituna apparently actively protecting the Beta trolls from some unknown doom.
> 
> So, I'm trying to make sure the clues are there, and I'd be greatly...amused? Appreciative? Enthused, probably, if ya'll guess the new assigned classpects before I actually reveal them.
> 
> Anyways, Tavros, Nepeta, and Gamzee are not on Vriska's contact list, yet. Nepeta, as can be guessed from a couple chapters ago, is not on anyone's contact list yet. Karkat and Feferi both have everyone with handles, Eridan has everyone who is at least green(+ Karkat), Gamzee has those three, Equius and Terezi, Equius has those mentioned plus Sollux and Vriska, Terezi and Kanaya have everyone except each other, Tavros, and Aradia, Sollux has everyone except Gamzee and Eridan, and Tavros and Aradia have each other plus any cross over logically mentioned above. They are all aware of all the other trolls, but a lot of them are being very resistant to being friends with some of the other members of the group for a variety of reasons, like Kanaya and Terezi thinking they are romantic rivals or lower blooded trolls not trusting a purple, and Equius and Eridan refusing to interact with those they believe beneath notice.


	9. Feral Taming Club

twinArmageddons opened memo on board BULGE BITERS R US

 

TA: okay, ju2t one 2econd.

 

twinArmageddons invited gallowsCalibrator to memo

twinArmageddons invited apocalypseArisen to memo

twinArmageddons invited arsenicCatnip to memo

 

TA: good eveniing, ladiie2.

TA: welcome two the fiir2t offiiciial meetiing of the feral tamiing club.

 

gallowsCalibrator joined memo

 

GC: TH4TS JUST M34N

 

apocalypseArisen joined the memo

arsenicCatnip joined the memo

 

AA: it d0es seem rather accurate

GC: WH4T3V3R

GC: SHOULD H4V3 M4D3 TH3 M3MO 1N FRU1TY RUMPUS TOWN

GC: F33LS W31RD NOT TO B3 W13LD1NG TH3 B4N H4MM3R

AC: :33 < *ac giggles while examining her claws*

AC: :33 < i thought it was purrfectly funny *ac says mischievously*

GC: G4SP!

GC: TR41TOR!

TA: iit would 2eem that more effort wiill have two be expended two tame tz than np.

GC: H3Y!

GC: 1 SHOULD B4N YOU FOR TH4T

TA: whiich ii2 why were not doiing thii2 iin fruiity rumpu2 town.

GC: 1F YOUR3 GO1NG TO B3 M34N, W3 SHOULD 4T L34ST H4V3 4N 1MP4RT14L MOD3R4TOR

AA: d0 y0u trust me t0 be impartial

GC: TOUCH3

AC: :33 < *ac volunt33rs to auspitize fur her new friends*

GC: NO

TA: no.

AA: pft

AC: :33 < what? *ac demands angrily*

TA: we dont need an au2piitiice.

TA: were ju2t tea2iing one another.

GC: 1 L1T3R4LLY S33 YOU P3CK1NG 4T YOUR K3YBO4RD

GC: YOU 4R3 NOT 4LLOW3D TO MOD3R4T3 4NYTH1NG UNT1L YOU C4N N4V1G4T3 4 K3YBO4RD

TA: now that2 ju2t mean.

TA: we let you moderate all 2ort2 of dii2cu22iion2.

AA: c0uld we p0ssibly m0ve 0n bef0re the tw0 0f y0u decide 0n an impr0mptu feelings jam

AC: :33 < *acs eyebrows rise scandalously*

TA: aa!

GC: 4R3 YOU TRY1NG TO CORRUPT OUR 1MPR3SS1ON4BL3 N3WCOM3R?

AA: why else w0uld y0u invite me

GC: 1-

GC: W3-

GC: WHY D1D W3 1NV1T3 4R4D14?

GC: W3 4LR34DY KN3W HOW C4ND1D SH3 COULD B3

TA: 2he got the part2 for np2 riig.

TA: iitd be rude two exclude her from the te2t run.

AA: als0 i am reminding y0u that we need t0 figure 0ut which friends t0 intr0duce her t0

AC: :33 < efurryone! *ac shouts excitedly*

TA: no.

GC: NO

AA: n0

AC: :33 < *ac gives an inquisitive look at each of her friends*

AA: s0me 0f 0ur friends are

AA: well

TA: we have 2ome a22hole2 for friiend2.

GC: SOLLUX

TA: kk alone fiill2 the a22hole quota.

GC: YOU DONT H4V3 TO B3 SO BLUNT 4BOUT 1T

GC: B3S1D3S, K4RKL3S 1S SP3C14L

TA: he2 2uch a nookwhiiffer.

AA: hes pretty funny when he gets a g00d rant g0ing

AC: :33 < lets invite him then!

TA: 2ure, why not?

TA: iit2 really ed and eq iid be worriied about.

AA: i have n0 0pini0n 0n th0se tw0

AA: i was m0re c0ncerned f0r tavr0s

AA: he 0nly just started talking with karkat and intr0ducing him t0 every0ne might be 0verwhelming

GC: M1NTY F4NGS H4S 4 ST1CK F1RMLY PL4NT3D UP H3R W4ST3 CHUT3

GC: DONT R34LLY KNOW WH4T BLU3B3RRY 4ND K4RKL3S S33 1N H3R

AC: :33 < *ac stomps her paw on the ground*

AC: :33 < im going to m33t everyone anyway, *she says indignantly* we might as well rip the wound sealing tape off

TA: eh.

TA: iit2 your 2how.

AA: tavr0s might leave early but this might be g00d f0r him t00

GC: M1NTY F4NGS ST1LL H4S 4 ST1CK F1RMLY PL4NT3D UP H3R W4ST3 CHUT3

TA: well, now that that2 all deciided.

 

twinArmageddons invited carcinoGeneticist to memo

twinArmageddons invited grimAuxiliatrix to memo

twinArmageddons invited arachnidsGrip to memo

twinArmageddons invited centaursTesticle to memo

twinArmageddons invited terminallyCapricious to memo

twinArmageddons invited caligulasAquarium to memo

twinArmageddons invited cuttlefishCuller to memo

 

AA: tavr0s handle is adi0st0read0r

 

twinArmageddons invited adiosToreador to memo

 

AC: :33 < *ac purrpares to pawnce on the first troll to stroll into the room*

TA: iit miight be a miinute.

TA: vk wa2 freakiing out about 2omethiing earliier.

TA: and kn probably ii2nt awake yet.

AA: tavr0s will pr0bably message me bef0re accepting the invite

TA: gz miight be 2tariing at the ocean.

GC: K4RKL3S 1S PR3TTY QU1CK TO 4NSW3R

GC: H3S GLU3D TO 4 SCR33N 4LMOST 4S MUCH 4S MR 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST H3R3

TA: miight not beat ff though.

TA: 2he2 a lot more friiendly and probably already know2 thii2 wa2 goiing on.

 

centaursTesticle joined the memo

 

CT: D --> Make this quick, pissb100d.

AC: :33 < *ac tacklepawnces her new friend*

AC: :33 < hi! are you karkitty! *she grins directly in the newcomers face*

CT: D --> I am conducting some e%cruciating e%perimentation and cannot devote much time to your mindless chatter.

CT: D --> What foalishness is this

TA: tryiing two fiigure out how many robot2 you can de2troy iin one punch?

GC: FONDL1NG YOUR SH4M3 GLOB3S TO MOR3 MUSCL3B34ST 4RT?

AC: :33 < *ac licks her paw as she k33ps you pinned to the ground, awaiting an answer*

CT: D --> Of horse i am not that foul mouth vantas.

CT: D --> Whatever would give you that e%cessively absurd idea

AA: are y0u eridan

AA: i d0 n0t kn0w that many pe0ple high 0n the spectrum but y0u d0 n0t seem like what ive heard gamzee 0r feferi t0 be like

CT: D --> You would dare compare me to the seadweller trash

 

caligulasAquarium joined the memo

 

CT: D --> I am equius zahhak of the indigo caste and you will give my my due respect.

CA: Theres knot a lot of respect youre due

CA: I assume theyvve givven you your fair share of it

AC: :33 < hello my name is nepeta *ac hops up and leans toward the new troll* who are you?

CA: Youre the neww gill Fefs been glubbin aboat

CA: WWater you tryin to train for

AC: :33 < *ac declares she will be the greatest huntress alternia has ever s33n*

CA: Strife spacification

AC: :33 < *ac shows off her claws nervously*

CT: D --> What is the meaning of this e%amination

CA: Clam up

CA: Thats an order

CT: D --> Urk.

CT: D --> I need a towel.

TA: ew.

GC: 3W

AC: :33 < *ac bounds off in search of towel*

CA: *CA crabs AC by the scruff of her meal pipe*

CA: Pretty shore he means that in reel life

AC: :33 < oh

CA: Biggest krill

AC: :33 < *ac beams with pride,* i helped take down a cholerbear!

CA: WWithout your Lusus

AC: :33 < *acs head droops*

AC: :33 < just an antlerbeast, *she says dejectedly*

CA: Knot bad

CA: Evver fight any trolls

CT: D --> You will cease this line of di%ussion at once.

CA: Didnt I tell you to clam up

CT: D --> Land and seadwellers are natural enemies.

CT: D --> As a b100b100d, i am not obligaitd to follow your commands.

CA: By the Empress just leavve this memo

 

centaursTesticle left the memo

 

CA: Huh

CA: WWhale

CA: Are you goin to answwer the question Nep

AC: :33 < *ac curls up in embarrassment*

TA: ed, no need two be a creep.

 

centaursTesticle joined the memo

 

CA: Just gatherin information

CA: *CA lets AC go*

CA: If you need anythin or wwant to gossip send me a message

CA: VVris wwont be comin in tunaight

CA: Shes should be preppin for our excursion tomorroe

 

caligulasAquarium left the memo

 

CT: D --> I absolutely forbid any of you from further acquainting yourself with the seadweller.

CT: D --> In fact, i order you to remove him from your chumproll immediately.

GC: Y34H, TH4TS NOT H4PP3N1NG

TA: look at that, ii now have a new contact here.

AC: :33 < why?

CT: D --> Because i'm am currently the highest b100ded troll in this memo.

CT: D --> You will follow my orders.

CT: D --> And the pissb100d will tell me the meaning of this memo.

TA: how about no.

TA: ii dont take kiindly two 2omebody iin2ultiing me and tryiing two order me around.

CT: D --> It is your place to be ordered.

AC: :33 < hey, stop that

CT: D --> I am a b100b100d and will be obeyed.

AC: :33 < *ac s33s a bully who n33ds to apologize*

CT: D --> The noble caste does not apologize.

AC: :33 < *ac just gives a stern look and points at ta*

CT: D --> This is against the social order.

AC: :33 < then the social order is wrong, *ac snarls* now, apologize

CT: D --> I must resume my e%periments.

 

centaursTesticle left the memo

 

AA: that went w0nderfully

TA: that ii2 more or le22 why ii diidnt want two iinviite them.

TA: double the trouble whenever eiither of them get iinvolved.

AC: :33 < is anyone else going to show up?

TA: iim 2urprii2ed kk and ff diidnt 2how up whiile that wa2 goiing down.

TA: they 2hould 2how up 2oon though.

AA: tavr0s is still 0ffline

AA: maybe i sh0uld visit his hive

GC: GO 4H34D

GC: W3 C4N HOLD DOWN TH3 FORT H3R3

AA: alright

AA: d0nt let anything fun happen with0ut me

TA: no promii2e2.

AC: :33 < bye, aradia

 

apocalypseArisen left the memo

 

TA: 2o, ii gue22 were waiitiing for 2omebody two pop iin.

GC: OOO!

GC: WHO W4NTS TO ROL3PL4Y UNT1L TH3N?

 

twinArmageddons closed the memo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, Zarbapha. Where did my week go? But seriously, thanks for the recommendation. If anybody else has recs that they think I'll enjoy, feel free to drop them in a comment. I devour the written word like you wouldn't believe sometimes.
> 
> So, this chapter didn't exactly go the way I thought it was going to. Equius was supposed to stick around for Tavros and Kanaya to show up. Heck, going by my original plan, Vriska and Feferi are the only ones who wouldn't have posted in this memo. Partially, this is due to a bit of aspect analysis, specifically of the Heart aspect. Heart players seem to be splintered or broken and their quest line seems to be about making themselves whole again. With Dirk, this was obvious with his dreamself and Hal and even brain ghost Dirk and his swapping between trying to be the most visible player of his group while also controlling things from the shadows. We also see this a little bit with Nepeta, between her being demure around some characters while confident and outgoing around others, as well as adopting a persona to handle interacting with most of her friends. This Nepeta was previously split(in story, probably only a month has actually passed since Caliborn changed the classpects), but is healing. Combined with her new classpect, she not only sees what she wants and how to get it, but finds herself filled with the conviction to take it. Equius, conversely, is no longer a Void hero, and can't just shut out the things he finds uncomfortable anymore. In fact, he's kind of hyper aware of those things now. Both of those are likely to cause problems later.
> 
> Eridan's questions are along the same train of thought of things he asked Terezi, Karkat, and Kanaya when he met them as well, because he was asked to evaluate them as specialist melee fighters for Feferi. He was supposed to do the same with Gamzee, but he was already on sopor slime by the time they found him. Vriska and Equius got their...interview directly from Feferi instead, as they're considered non-battlefield personnel. Sollux, Aradia, and Tavros didn't get one because Karkat vouched for them.


	10. Gamzee Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Motherfucking Gamzee.

HiS nAmE iS.

 

hIs NaMe Is.

 

OkAy, ThIs ShIt Is ThE bItCh TiTs. He CaN'T eVeN rEmEmBeR hIs NaMe. ThIs MoThErFuCkEr WaS sO lOsT iN hImSeLf He HaD fOrGoTtEn HiS nAmE. wHaT a MiRaClE.

 

iT dOeSn't MaTtEr ThOuGh. ThE wIcKeD sHiT mIgHt Be KiCkInG, bUt He's StIlL gOt It AlL uP iN hIs ThInKpAn WhAt He WaS uP aNd DoInG aLl BeFoRe HiS nAmE aLl GoT uP aNd LoSt ItSeLf. If OnLy ThIs MoThErFuCkEr CoUlD rEmEmBeR iT. sOmEtHiN tO dO wItH cOlOrS. mAyBe If ThE oLd SeA gOaT hAdN'T sTaRtEd PrEaChIn ThE hArSh NaStIeS.

 

PiNg!

 

wHaT wAs It AbOuT cOlOrS? iT hAd SeEmEd So ImPoRtAnT. hE sHoUlD pRoBaBlY aSk BeSt FrIeNd. He WaSn't SuRe WhO tHaT mOtHeRfUcKeR iS, tHoUgH. tHe WiCkEd ElIxIr WaS fEeLiNg MiGhTy RiGhTeOuS. iT wAs ThEn ThAt HiS hAnD dEcIdEd It HaD tO uP aNd LeArN wHaT hOw To SpEaK aLtErNiAn.

 

Gz, ArE yOu ThErE?

iIm 2tArTiIn A mEmO tWoNiIgHt TwO iInTrOdUcE eVeRyOnE tWo 2oMeOnE.

 

ThAt Is CeRtAiNlY gNaRlY, aNd It SlIpPeD hIs ThInKpAn NeAr EnTiReLy To WoNdEr WhO hIs HaNd MiGhT iNtRoDuCe. HoW cOuLd HiS hAnD kNoW sOmEoNe He DoEsN'T?

 

2HiIt, YoUrE 2TaRiIn At ThE 2Ea AgAiIn, ArEnT yOu?

 

ThAt ThErE iS tHe RiGhT wIcKeD tRuTh Of ThAt WhAt Is CuRrEnTlY pRoCeEdInG. hOw AlL eLsE iS a MoThErFuCkEr Up To GeT aNd Go AbOuT hIs PeAcE?

 

2HiIt, MaN. jU2T 2TaY cLo2e TwO yOuR hU2KtOp.

 

ThIs MoThErFuCkEr Is Up To Go WhErE eVeR tHe HaRsHeSt Of WhImSiEs TaKe HiM, bUt HiS hAnD sToPs GlOwIn ThAt RiGhTeOuS yElLoW. bUt ThAt's AlL fInE aNd GoOd. He CaN gO bAcK tO sTaRiN aT tHe SeA. mAyBe ThE oLd GoAt WiLl CoMe BaCk AnD pReAcH sOmE mOrE. hE'S nOt DoWn On AnYtHiNg To Be FoRgOtTeN aNyMoRe.

 

yOu DoN'T hAvE tO bE hIs SlAvE aNyMoRe.

 

Or He CoUlD jUsT wAtCh ThE wAvEs GeNtLy RoLl OnTo ThE bEaCh. ThAt AwEsOmE cHiLl WhEn ThOsE mOtHeRfUcKeRs WaSh OvEr HiS sTrUt PoDs.

 

dOn't FaLl FuRtHeR uNdEr ThE wHiMs Of ThE fAlSe MiRtH.

 

He CoUlD sWeAr He HaD bEeN aLl Up To DoIn SoMeWhAt GnArLy To Do WiTh CoLoRs. MaYhApS hE wAs SpItTiN tHe WiCkEd CoNfLaGrAtIoNs. ThE bUrNs CoMe In SuCh SoMe HuE-lIkE sTaTeS.

 

i CaN sEe InTo ThE nOtHiNg EyE fUcK tHe EvErLiViNg AbYsS sUcH tHaT iT iS fOrCeD tO bLiNk BeCaUsE tO sTaRe InTo Me Is AkIn To CaStIn YoUr GaZe UpOn ThE sUn.

 

He CoUlD gEt UsEd To ThE nOtHiNgNeSs. LeT tHe WoRlD lAp At HiS sTuMp NuBs As He LaYs UnDeR tHe BlAnKeT oF lIgHt PiNpRiCkS. bUt ThE cOlOrS wOuLd NoT lEaVe HiS mInD. sOmEtHiNg BeSt FrIeNd WaNtEd HiM tO dO.

 

yOu DoN'T nEeD tHeSe AnYmOrE.

 

MaYbE fIsH sIsTeR wOuLd KnOw. He WaS vAgUeLy ReCoLlEcTiNg ThAt He ShOuLd Be PrOtEcTiN tHe PeAnUt BuTtEr. ThAt DiD nOt MaKe AnY aMoUnT oF sEnSe.

 

tWiNaRmAgEdDoNs InViTeD tErMiNaLlYcApRiCiOuS tO mEmO.

 

He CoUlDn't AsK bEsT fRiEnD. tHe ShIt HaD bEeN fLiPpEd MoSt WiCkEdLy. EvEn Up AnD rEmEmBeRiN eXaCtLy WhO tHaT wAs WoUlDn't HeLp, BeCaUsE hE wAs GoIn To Be GoNe.

 

hEy, NoOk WhIfFeR.

I'M tElLiN yOu A sEcReT bEcAuSe YoU'Re PrObAbLy ToO bRaIn DeAd To ReMeMbEr It.

 

tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR hAdN'T eVeN kNoWn It HaD bEeN a SeCrEt. BeSt FrIeNd CoUlD cAlM hIm LiKe No OtHeR tRoLl WaS aBlE. hOw CoUlD hE nOt Be WhAt He WaS?

 

BuT tHiS mEaNs I hAvE tO gO.

i DoN'T kNoW fOr HoW lOnG, bUt It's SaFeR tHiS wAy.

AnD i NeEd YoU tO dO sOmEtHiNg.

 

tHaT hAd BeEn Up AnD dOwNrIgHt SaD tO hEaR. bUt ThErE wAs A nEw CoLoR tO lOoK aT nOw. CoUlD iT eNd OuT iN tHe MiRaClE hE nEeDeD jUsT nOw?

 

YoU bRoKe OuR gAmE.

tOoK a ChEaP bAt To ThAt ShItTy PrInTeR wItH gEtO bOyS pLaYiN iN tHe BaCkGrOuNd.

HoPe YoU cUt YoUr HaNdS oN cHeAp ElEcTrOnIcS bEfOrE yOuR hOmIeS pUlLeD yOu AwAy.

 

tErMiNaLlYcApRiCiOuS bEgAn TrOlLiNg AdIoStOrEaDoR.

 

Tc: SuP, mOtHeRfUcKeR.

tC: sOmE rIgHtEoUs MoThErFuCkEr Or AnOtHeR tOlD mE yOu ThInK yOu CaN sLaM.

Tc: WhAt SaY yOu To KiCkInG tHe WiCkEd ShIt?

 

iT'S qUiEt FoR a LoNg TiMe. He CoUlD gEt UsEd To ThE nOtHiNg.

 

TaKe My MiRtH iNsTeAd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter was actually really hard to write and it's still...it's just bad. This is the first major item on my to-do list for shit that has to be fixed for this story and, because of my feelings on Gamzee, will probably be one of the last things I deal with, if ever. The next couple of chapters should actually be both better and much quicker.
> 
> Secondary note, I went back and added chapter titles. Partially, it's to make it easier to find and reference earlier chapters, since I remember the events better than the numbers. Partially it's because once I started writing this chapter, I knew I needed to use the title and I couldn't have just one chapter titled and all of the others be numbered.
> 
> Finally, thank you RorschachIntrovert. That is probably the most inspiring thing I've read about my writing in a long time. Goes right up there to being compared to Bridge to Terebithia.


	11. Fis)(ing

cuttlefishCuller begins trolling adiosToreador

 

CC: Glub glub.

CC: Today is going to be a great day.

CC: I can eel it in my valves.

CC: I'm just so excited I cod -EXPLOD-E!

AT: uH, dON'T EXPLODE ON MY ACCOUNT.

CC: TOO LAT-E!

CC: Seadw)(aleer bits everyw)(ere!

CC: )(ee )(ee )(ee!

CC: T)(e cuttlefis)( will pike t)(at.

AT: wHY, uH, wOULD THE CUTTLEFISH LIKE THAT?

CC: W)(o doesn't pike )(aving some c)(arred meat to c)(ew on?

AT: wELL, i DON'T THINK tINKERBULL WOULD.

CC: Sounds pike a reel bone in t)(e coral.

AT: uM, sORRY.

AT: pLEASE DON'T BE MAD.

AT: bUT, uH, wHO ARE YOU?

CC: W)(at do you mean w)(o am I?

CC: S)(orely Crabsnatc)( glubs aboat me.

CC: Prawnbably calls me a big butt, but in a meaner wave.

AT: uH,

CC: Of course )(e doesn't glub aboat me.

CC: T)(at's almost meaner.

CC: )(ow are we supposed to be friends if you don't know anyt)(ing aboat me?

AT: wELL, uM, tHE NORMAL WAY, i SUPPOSE.

CC: )(u)(?

AT: lIKE,

AT: hELLO.

AT: mY NAME IS, uH, tAVROS nITRAM.

AT: uM...

AT: i LIKE, uH, pLAYING FIDUSPAWN, eVEN IF, uM, i'M NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.

CC: )(ee )(ee.

CC: Okay.

CC: My name is Feferi Peixes.

CC: I pike to protect cuttlefis)(, t)(oug)( t)(ey don't pike staying in t)(eir cages.

AT: mAYBE YOU, uH, sHOULDN'T KEEP CUTTLEFISH, uH, cAGED UP.

AT: jUST A, uH, sUGGESTION.

CC: Reelly?

AT: i KNOW I, uH, gET SO MAD WHEN SOMEONE KEEPS ME FROM DOING THINGS.

CC: It cod be danc)(orous out t)(ere, t)(oug)(.

CC: Salmon mig)(t get )(urt.

AT: i THINK i WOULD PREFER THE, uM, oPPORTUNITY TO DO SOMETHING EVEN IF IT IS, wELL, nOT SAFE.

AT: aND, uM, iN MY EXPERIENCE, mOST BEAST THINK LIKE THAT.

CC: -Experience?

AT: wOW, tHAT'S, uH, nOT AT ALL WHAT i MEANT TO SAY.

CC: Come on.

CC: We're friends, rig)(t?

CC: You don't )(ave to )(id t)(ings from me.

AT: wOULD YOU REALLY SAY THAT WE, uH, aRE FRIENDS?

CC: W)(y wouldn't I say t)(at?

AT: wELL, iT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS.

AT: mORE LIKE, wELL, yOU WANTED IT TO BE TRUE WITHOUT, uH, pUTTING IN THE EFFORT.

 

 

Her fingers rake over her keyboard, but just as quickly erase the message. She didn't really want to admit to it, but he wasn't really wrong. Amongst all the vague recollections that had been plaguing her, Tavros being a close friend was never one of them. At his best, he'd been a bit of a nuisance. At his worst, he'd actively crippled aspects of her ideology.

 

AT: i KNOW i DON'T, uM, rEALLY HAVE A LOT OF FRIENDS.

AT: bUT i'M, uH, pRETTY SURE IT'S BETTER TO HAVE, uM, gOOD ONES OVER A LOT OF THEM.

AT: i'D SAY i'M SORRY, bUT,

AT: uM, i'M NOT REALLY SORRY AT ALL.

 

adiosToreador blocked cuttlefishCuller

 

CC: You cod've given me t)(e time to put in some effort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fef's, y'know, she's trying. She knows Alternia can be a better place, and is trying to nip the problems she's seen in the bud. Of course, as you probably could have guessed from the way she interacted with both Karkat and Vriska, she's capable of discussing these topics, but not really mature enough yet to actually deal with the concept that she might be wrong. 
> 
> Tavros' self-esteem fluctuates wildly between suicidally overconfident and utterly useless. He's kinda like Regular Sized Rudy in that he likes to do dangerous stuff in spite, or probably because, of his physical shortcomings. He also doesn't seem to have any compulsions against calling out trolls higher on the spectrum when they've wronged him but continue taking the bullshit they're heaping on him anyway.
> 
> These two were fun to write talking to each other, from Feferi's initial excitement and Tavros' confusion to it all to Tavros' sudden backbone and Fefefri trying to pry into his life. We'll be seeing these two talk more often in the future.
> 
> Also, sorry for another short chapter, but the next one involves neither of these characters and welding two disparate chapters together just...feels like cheating.


	12. Ghost of a Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've been in the middle of moving, which has rather fairly split my attention.

It's simply not possible.

Yet he does it again. A flick of his sickle, and the pebble his wand is pointed at is a small featherbeast chirping and hopping on the forest floor. Another flick and it's wreathed in flames. Finally, a tap of his wand and there's a pebble sitting under the tip of his sickle.

It just doesn't make sense. This isn't how psionics work. Psionics get one power. Mutations might functionally count for a second. A flick of his sickle, a slash of his wand, and he has oinkbeast slabs. A lazy tap and they're gone.

A pair of pebbles began waltzing along the forest floor. He doesn't even know how to waltz. Telekinetics can't just want something to happen and have it happen. They have to guide objects through all the motions and maintain conscious mental effort through the entire effort.

A flick of his sickle and a nearby barrier strut changes to a neon pink color. Another troll flops down on top of a felled tree trunk.

AA: y0u sh0uld really tell every0ne y0ure 0kay

AA: its getting s0 bad that eridan and s0llux are talking ab0ut launching a rescue party

Karkat snorts in spite of himself.

CG: IF YOU'RE GOING TO LIE TO ME, START WITH SOMETHING BELIEVABLE.

AA: its n0t a lie

AA: every0ne is starting t0 freak 0ut

AA: thats s0rt 0f what happens when y0u st0p talking t0 every0ne

AA: just tell them things are 0kay

He gestures at the chaos surrounding them.

CG: THINGS AREN'T OKAY.

AA: then tell them that

CG: HAVE YOU TOLD SOLLUX THAT GHOSTS HAVE BEEN AVOIDING YOU SINCE YOUR EXCURSION?

AA: i hardly see h0w thats revenant t0 this c0nversati0n

CG: DON'T YOU START WITH THAT TOO.

CG: WE GET ENOUGH OF THAT FROM FEFERI.

AA: nepeta d0es cat puns

AA: im just trying t0 get int0 the spirit

CG: NO.

CG: THIS DOESN'T GET TO BE YOUR THING.

CG: NEXT THING WE KNOW, TEREZI WILL BE DOING DRAGONS AND SOLLUX WILL START DOING BEES.

AA: scared 0f being left 0ut

CG: HARDLY.

CG: I CAN ACT CRABBY ALL I WANT.

AA: karkat!

AA: i cant believe y0u

CG: I CALLED FEFERI ON USING IT ONCE AND SHE SAID WE COULD SHARE.

CG: DON'T TELL HER I ACTUALLY TOOK HER UP ON THAT.

AA: d0nt tell any0ne i busted 0ut s0me puns

CG: DEAL.

A lazy slash of his wand and all the chaos stops. Then he sits down next to Aradia.

AA: y0u really sh0uld talk t0 s0me0ne ab0ut this

CG: AS SOON AS YOU START TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

AA: g0g

AA: y0ure being s0 difficult

CG: TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.

Karkat crosses his arms and sticks out his tongue, Aradia quickly copying him. They sit in stalemate until they both break into a fit of giggling.

AA: are y0u really g0ing t0 be stubb0rn ab0ut this

CG: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

AA: ugh...

AA: fine

CG: WHAT?

AA: im scared t0 be h0nest

CG: NO.

AA: i d0nt kn0w h0w i did it

AA: i...

CG: STOP IT.

AA: i think i actually killed a gh0st

AA: i c0uld feel him diss0lve int0 aether

AA: his th0ughts just

CG: ARADIA.

AA: faded away

CG: I'M NOT-

AA: what d0es it even mean if a gh0st can die

CG: DAMNIT.

AA: did i push him int0 the afterlife

AA: is he just

AA: g0ne?

CG: SHUT UP.

AA: what?

CG: I AM NOT A RELIGIOUS PERSON.

CG: YOU KNOW THAT I WILL ACTIVELY MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE'S BELIEFS BECAUSE IT AMUSES ME.

CG: I THINK THEY ARE UTTERLY RIDICULOUS.

CG: CONSTRAINING YOUR ACTIONS TO THE WORDS OF SOME BEING THAT WAS LIKELY MADE UP.

CG: WORRYING ABOUT A VAGUE AFTERLIFE WHEN YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL LIFE TO LIVE.

CG: RELIGION IS JUST ANOTHER MEAN BY WHICH THE HIGH BLOODS CAN DICTATE HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES.

CG: AND WE'RE NOT IMPROVED BY THOSE WHO HAVE TAKEN THE DOGMATIC APPROACH TO CIVIL REFORM.

CG: THE CONDESCE CRUSHES A REBELLION AND IMMEDIATELY TURNS THE LEADERS INTO A PUPA'S TALE.

CG: EVEN THE PUNISHMENT WAS SO ABSURDLY CARTOONISH THAT NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT IF THEY WEREN'T LIVING IT.

AA: is there a but in there?

CG: THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE, BUT MY THINKPAN NEVER CAUGHT UP WITH MY MEAL TUBE.

CG: UM...

CG: FROM WHAT YOU'VE ALREADY TOLD ME, THAT GHOST WAS A JERK.

CG: WHATEVER YOU DID TO HIM, IT SOUNDS LIKE HE DESERVED IT.

AA: h0w can any0ne deserve that?

CG: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!

CG: LOOK,

CG: LIFE IS LIKE A GAME.

CG: AND RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE WINNING.

CG: BUT YOU WON'T STAY ON TOP IF YOU FREAK OUT EVERYTIME YOU HURT SOMEONE.

AA: but i-

CG: DID WHAT?

CG: KILLED A GHOST?

CG: EVEN IF WE ACCEPT THE PREMISE THAT DOUBLE DEATH IS REAL,

CG: ISN'T THAT WHAT EXORCISM DOES?

AA: ex0rcism pushes gh0sts int0 the afterlife

CG: HOW DO YOU KNOW?

CG: HAS ANYONE EVER COME BACK FROM THE AFTERLIFE?

AA: uh...

CG: FUCKING RELIGIOUS BELIEFS.

CG: DID YOU NEVER ONCE QUESTION THIS UNTIL PRESENTED WITH A DIFFERENT METHOD?

Aradia briefly looks horrified, then snickers in spite of herself.

AA: i didnt expect y0u t0 bring it back ar0und

AA: i really needed that

CG: GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE.

He leans back, looking at the night sky. She watches him out of the corner of her eye.

CG: NO.

Aradia turns fully to look at him.

AA: what?

CG: I'M STILL NOT SHARING.

CG: I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS.

CG: I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

AA: is there s0mething wr0ng with me?

AA: d0 y0u think ill be bad at it?

CG: GOG NO.

CG: YOU'RE PROBABLY A NATURAL.

CG: I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT WAS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND SOLLUX FOR A WHILE.

CG: GOOD THING TOO.

CG: HE NEEDS ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET.

CG: MAKES ME FEEL SORRY FOR TEREZI, ACTUALLY.

AA: then?

CG: I'M A FREAK, OKAY?

CG: I'LL PROBABLY GET CULLED THE MOMENT IT GETS OUT.

AA: im at the b0tt0m y0u kn0w

AA: and im pretty g00d at keeping secrets

AA: y0u d0nt have t0 w0rry ab0ut me telling any0ne ab0ut y0ur t0tally c00l and amazing psi0nics

And he does look at her as if he's sizing her up. Judging her words against everything he knows about her, weighing his trust against his fear.

CG: I-

And then the moment is gone as a ufo passes overhead, crashing into a nearby field.

CG: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT IT.

AA: ugh...

AA: y0ure imp0ssible

CG: TELL ME ABOUT IT.

AA: id rather see if that sh00ting star has anything w0rth scavenging

AA: want t0 c0me?

CG: YEAH.

CG: THAT SOUNDS FUN.

The two trolls stand up and walk in the direction of the crash site.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aradia's character is probably the toughest to hash out pre-FLARP incident, so I'm mostly writing her as slightly toned down from her god tier self.
> 
> This chapter surprised me. It was originally going to be something like Gamzee Vision, with Karkat's friends all trying to get in touch with him and him ignoring them in favor of practicing his new thing, but it ended up being kind of boring because just about everyone was talking about how they couldn't talk to somebody else because Karkat wasn't around.
> 
> I initially toyed with the idea of Karkat<>Kanaya, but that quickly gave way to something else. At the time I wrote Blink, I knew the two of them were currently fighting, which sort of bled into this.


	13. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been edited from its original text on May 14, 2018. Comments made before this date were in expression to an early version that was confusingly edited. While I have no particular issue writing confusing stuff, like dream sequences, I felt that my previous effort was not confusing in the way that I had intended.

All told, she was in pretty bad shape. The clawed out eye spoke of improper cleaning, with infection festering just beneath the scars. The limp seemed to be from a recent dislocation and amateur replacement, and she winces with every step. Her clothes are in tatters, just barely decent and entirely failing to conceal that she was covered in gashes and bruises. But, most alarming of all, is the trickle of blue where her arm should be, free flow only stemmed by a crude tourniquet.

TOCK

She shouldn't be standing. Sepsis was killing her knee, her arm was broken in two different places, and she didn't want to think about what Equius had done to her ribs. Had probably given her another infection in the process. Nevertheless, she had clawed herself out of the impact crater and was trudging ever onwards.

TICK

In spite of it all, she chuckles wetly as she sees them. Her lungs burn and threaten to send her into a coughing fit, but they were right there. Alive. Healthy. A bit confused, but most importantly

TOCK

AG: Nepeta owes me 8 8oon8ucks.

No, that's not right. Nepeta, her Nepeta, was dead, strangled with her own prosthetic. That wasn't important anymore. And they were staring at her. She'd forgotten how awkward those two could make it.

TICK

AG: Don't trust her.

She should probably clarify that. It's bound to be misunderstood.

AG: She only wants to use you.

TOCK

That wasn't any better, but her knee's agonized screaming finally won out and sent her tumbling into darkness

AA: Vriska!

CG: VRISKA!

TICK

TOCK

Equius was going to be mad at her, but when wasn't he? She had all the irons in the fire and none of the time(wasn't that a laugh), and she couldn't lay in a recuperacoon all day while he made her infections worse. Or decided she needed modifications. Noooooooo thank you to that. What of her wasn't bitch was all troll and she wasn't going to let anyone change that.

 

TICK

 

Stumble, stumble, through the halls

Do her ribs creak when she falls

Grumble, grumble, from the pain

Stand, hobble, ignore the stain

Rainbow splattered on the walls

 

AG: Huh.

AG: I thought Nepeta couldn't alchemize any more p8nt.

 

TOCK

 

She smears her hand through the jade figure.

 

AG: Hahahaowhahahahaha.

AG: You like that????????

 

She coughs violently, huddling against the wall.

 

AG: I know you're there, oh mighty goddess.

AG: We have to talk.

 

TICK

 

She's in the computer room amidst a cacophony of squeaks and bellows. Terezi signs at her, but she's too dizzy to really catch the meaning. Vriska can't even remember sitting down. Probably some amount of disgust at those two going at it again. A patchwork of bruises, cuts and scrapes, and each one done in full view of an audience. Did the princess have no shame?

 

AG: Um........

 

It's so hard to remember. When was the last time she had done this? Before the game, probably. Had she really become such a shitty friend?

 

TOCK

 

TA: Do YoU wAnT tWo 2eE a MiIrAcLe?

 

She must have zoned out for a moment. Nepeta's sitting next to her calibrating one of her claws and they're sitting behind a row of tanks that used to hold pawns.

 

TA: IiT wIiLl Be 2o MiIrAcUlOu2.

 

Nepeta closes the panel over her wrist when Sollux wobbles into the room.

 

Vriska wants to tell her to let her fix it. She might not be Equius, but she still knows her way around a set of servos and and gears. But a sickening slurp tells her that they are hiding. The ribbons of flesh slapping the ground make it non-negotiable.

 

TA: DoNt YoU wAnT tWo Be PaRt Of ThE 2HoW?

 

TICK

 

AG: I need to talk to Kanaya.

 

The pile of flesh gurgles and slaps at the keyboard in front of it.

 

AC: :33 < *The mighty huntress would rather make sure she never gets the opportunity*

 

Terezi paps the flesh pile, staining her hand yellow. Then she looks at Vriska and starts rapidly making gestures with her hand.

 

AG: No, this is my fault.

AG: I'm the reason Karkat's.

 

Nepeta glares at her, then storms out of the block.

 

AG: Gone.

 

TOCK

 

Megido slams a fist into her side, sending her crashing into a temple wall. The flesh pile flops uselessly while Terezi freezes in shock.

 

AG: You're.

AG: You're dead.

 

The rustblood giggles madly as she flattens Vriska's nose.

 

TICK

 

She crashes on top of a mattress. Her ribs are burning again, and her arm isn't responding nearly as quickly as she's used to.

 

CT: D --> I told you to stay in bed.

CT: D --> This is why you're in pain.

 

He drops a head on the floor. It spins to look her in the eye.

 

TC: are you enjoyin the show?

 

TICK

 

The head grew eight strands of meat where it's neck should be and waddled up to her.

 

TC: OH, WHAT MIRACLES I COULD SHOW YOU.

TC: the mirthful messiahs like you.

 

Terezi bursts into the room waving her arms frantically, but a meat tendril wraps around her throat.

 

TC: THEY DON'T LIKE HER.

She has to be punished

 

TOCK

 

Now finish it.

 

The headspider changes. In the corner, Nepeta is collapsed on top of the pile of flesh, her claws wrapped around her throat. The patchwork of peanut butter and jam is no longer writhing, a sword jammed through their chests.

 

A violet stain tells her all she needs to know about how Eridan covering their retreat went.

 

She draws the Improbable Edge from her strife deck.

 

CLATTER

 

The dice have been cast.

 

CLATTER

 

Vriska can only hope they let her save someone.

 

SPLAT

 

Her arm flies out of reach, taking with it her best saber. The movement was so fast, she barely noticed the swing. Vriska drops to her knees.

 

TICK

 

Aradia collapses in a pool of rust, fingers clenched around the whip cutting off the Black Queen's throat.

 

AG: It's the wrong carap8ce.

 

The cat looks on with glee at the Queen's corpse. She can't...she can't look at Karkat's face again.

 

CA: This wwasnt howw this wwas supposed to happen

This is how the story goes.

CA: WWater wwe goin to do noww

CG: WE'RE GOING TO WIN THIS DAMN GAME.

 

Karkat flicks his wrist and the pool of blood rises, forming a sphere in front of his hand.

 

CG: ALL OF US.

 

TOCK

 

Then all that's left is Vriska and the cat holding Terezi aloft.

 

Then all that's left is for Vriska to bleed out while Terezi chokes.

 

Then all that's left is for the chainsaw to chew through the back of the cat's head, the teeth a fraction of an inch from biting into Terezi's nose.

 

GA: Oops

 

Kanaya flashes her fangs at the other troll as she drops to the ground.

 

GA: I Missed

AG: Kanaya........

GA: I Have Nothing To Say To You

 

And then she's gone.

 

TICK

 

Terezi is signing at her again. Vriska's been having trouble picking it up, and even if she can't speak ASL yet, she can understand enough conversate back.

 

AG: I don't know.

AG: I just do.

 

The other girl glares at Vriska and starts signing faster.

 

AG: Slow down.

AG: I can't follow that fast.

 

Terezi responds with a rude and absolutely age inappropiate gesture.

 

AG: That's........fair?

AG: It is all.

 

She waves vaguely at Terezi's neck.

 

AG: 8asically my fault.

AG: I could do 8etter a8out learning this.

 

The other girl punches her arm.

 

AG: Seriously, why do you put up with me?

AG: I'm awful.

AG: A killer.

AG: Ruin all our friends.

AG: 8r8k everyone's stuff.

 

Terezi wraps Vriska in a hug, cerulean staining over the yellow on her hand. Then she raises one hand and signs again.

 

AG: Yeah, I know.

AG: I can fix it.

 

Vriska stands, leaving the embrace.

 

AG: Kanaya, we have to talk.

 

TOCK

 

She finds herself crashing into a meteor, arm bent in new and exciting ways. Noooooooope. Painful ways. Vriska's not entirely sure whether Kanaya, Gamzee, or Megido hit harder.

 

GA: You Coward

GA: All You Have Ever Done Is Abandon People

 

Kanaya revs up her chainsaw.

 

GA: I Should Not Have Let Karkat Stop Me From Killing You

GA: You Should Just Die This Time

AG: Not how the story goes.

 

Kanaya swings her weapon down, but stops just before tearing into Vriska's gut.

 

AG: Some god you turned out to 8e.

AG: Felled 8y a dying girl's psionics.

 

The tube of lipstick drops.

 

AG: What are you even the hero of, at this point?

AG: Could have.

AG: Could have done more.

 

The jade blood takes a stuttering step back.

 

AG: Go protect your nothings, you petty 8itch.

 

She shakes her head, and steps forward again.

 

GA: I Am Not Done With You

AG: Well, I've got a timeline to save, so I am done with you.

Kanaya flashes a rude and absolutely age inappropiate gesture, and then she's gone.

 

All Vriska has to do now is ride out the apocalypse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gist of the first section of the chapter was originally planned to go at the end of the last chapter, from Karkat's POV, then to leave you hanging without the knowledge that she's a time clone for a few chapters, but the only trolls that are doing anything interesting at this chronological point are Eridan and Vriska. While I might be able to spin a decent chapter out of Nepeta hunting or Equius building robots, it'd just be filler.
> 
> FLARPing will probably start shortly after we finish up with our doppelganger.


	14. Excruciating Experimentation

Somehow, he had turned his hive into a deathtrap. A realm where the slightest misstep, the simplest mistake, would be met with the harshest reprisal. That wasn't the concern, really. He had designed everything that way.

AwW mAn No.

No, the larger issue was that it had gone from challenging to deadly overnight. Walls no longer crumpled like wet tissue paper. His robots could break skin and he dared not test if bone would fare any better.

Ii DoNt WwAnT tWwO dIiE.

On the other hand, his glass of milk hadn't shattered, his tools weren't bending at the most inopportune of times, and Aurthour no longer bruised under the lightest of touches.

PlEa2e LeT mE gO.

He narrowly ducks a sawblade.

CT: D --> Curse my e%cellent engineering.

YoU dOnT hAvVe TwWo KiIlL mE.

The haphazardly placed metal fractures and exposed wires were, well, not easily dealt with, but there was a rhythm to it. Equius was good at falling into rhythms.

Like ducking a saw blade intent on seperating his head and shoulders.

The robots were worse. there was still a rhythm to it, a dance of death among blades, pistons, and absurdly enough, a nail gun. Why had that seemed like a good idea? by the time it was close enough to be useful, other weapons would be far more effective.

Ii DoNt WwAnT tWwO dIiE.

Such as the hammer he had just sidestepped. Palm strike instead of a punch, no point in breaking another knuckle, then spinning his new dance partner into the path of a piston powered punch and using the momentum to pirouette into an empty hallway.

PlEa2e DoNt KiIlL mE.

Chaos, the dance changes as a new routine compensates for the lost robot, but he's already sprinting for the next room.

PlEa2e.

IiLl Do AnY-

A meaty sound, ignore the nail in his shoulder. He's already ducked into another room and shut the door behind himself. The reinforced doors are yet another pain, but it keeps the robots contained.

He pulls the nail from his shoulder and two more from his thigh, then rummages around through his pack for wound sealing tape. First aid taken care of, he takes stock of his situation.

CT: D --> There should be three robots left.

Ii DoNt-

PlEa2e DoNt KiIlL mE.

CT: D --> This would be much simpler if half my hive weren't still effectively boobytrapped.

Y-yOuRe NoT?

A glance out the nearest window revealed the loathsome seadweller trollhandling some unlucky teal blood as Vriska arrives at one of the many entrances to her hive. It was hardly any of his concern what the two were arguing about, and the teal's wails had gone below anything he could hear.

twinArmageddons invited centaursTesticle to memo

Just as well, given that a chat invitation flitted across his upgraded shades. He watches his neighbor just long enough for her lusus to skewer the former troll before twisting his grubtop out of his syladex.

centaursTesticle joined the memo

 

CT: D --> Make this quick, pissb100d.

AC: :33 < *ac tacklepawnces her new friend*

AC: :33 < hi! are you karkitty! *she grins directly in the newcomers face*

CT: D --> I am conducting some e%cruciating e%perimentation and cannot devote much time to your mindless chatter.

CT: D --> What foalishness is this

TA: tryiing two fiigure out how many robot2 you can de2troy iin one punch?

GC: FONDL1NG YOUR SH4M3 GLOB3S TO MOR3 MUSCL3B34ST 4RT?

AC: :33 < *ac licks her paw as she k33ps you pinned to the ground, awaiting an answer*

CT: D --> Of horse i am not that foul mouth vantas.

CT: D --> Whatever would give you that e%cessively absurd idea

AA: are y0u eridan

AA: i d0 n0t kn0w that many pe0ple high 0n the spectrum but y0u d0 n0t seem like what ive heard gamzee 0r feferi t0 be like

CT: D --> You would dare compare me to the seadweller trash

 

caligulasAquarium joined the memo

 

CT: D --> I am equius zahhak of the indigo caste and you will give my my due respect.

CA: Theres knot a lot of respect youre due

CA: I assume theyvve givven you your fair share of it

AC: :33 < hello my name is nepeta *ac hops up and leans toward the new troll* who are you?

CA: Youre the neww gill Fefs been glubbin aboat

CA: WWater you tryin to train for

AC: :33 < *ac declares she will be the greatest huntress alternia has ever s33n*

CA: Strife spacification

AC: :33 < *ac shows off her claws nervously*

CT: D --> What is the meaning of this e%amination

CA: Clam up

CA: Thats an order

CT: D --> Urk.

CT: D --> I need a towel.

TA: ew.

GC: 3W

AC: :33 < *ac bounds off in search of towel*

CA: *CA crabs AC by the scruff of her meal pipe*

CA: Pretty shore he means that in reel life

AC: :33 < oh

CA: Biggest krill

AC: :33 < *ac beams with pride,* i helped take down a cholerbear!

CA: WWithout your Lusus

AC: :33 < *acs head droops*

AC: :33 < just an antlerbeast, *she says dejectedly*

CA: Knot bad

CA: Evver fight any trolls

CT: D --> You will cease this line of di%ussion at once.

CA: Didnt I tell you to clam up

CT: D --> Land and seadwellers are natural enemies.

CT: D --> As a b100b100d, i am not obligaitd to follow your commands.

CA: By the Empress just leavve this memo

 

centaursTesticle left the memo

 

Why did he do that? That wasn't in anyway conducive to what he wanted. Equius slams his fist down on the floor. His enemy would not be allowed to get away with this.

 

centaursTesticle joined the memo

 

CA: Just gatherin information

CA: *CA lets AC go*

CA: If you need anythin or wwant to gossip send me a message

CA: VVris wwont be comin in tunaight

CA: Shes should be preppin for our excursion tomorroe

 

caligulasAquarium left the memo

 

CT: D --> I absolutely forbid any of you from further acquainting yourself with the seadweller.

CT: D --> In fact, i order you to remove him from your chumproll immediately.

GC: Y34H, TH4TS NOT H4PP3N1NG

TA: look at that, ii now have a new contact here.

AC: :33 < why?

CT: D --> Because i'm am currently the highest b100ded troll in this memo.

CT: D --> You will follow my orders.

CT: D --> And the pissb100d will tell me the meaning of this memo.

TA: how about no.

TA: ii dont take kiindly two 2omebody iin2ultiing me and tryiing two order me around.

CT: D --> It is your place to be ordered.

AC: :33 < hey, stop that

CT: D --> I am a b100b100d and will be obeyed.

AC: :33 < *ac s33s a bully who n33ds to apologize*

CT: D --> The noble caste does not apologize.

AC: :33 < *ac just gives a stern look and points at ta*

CT: D --> This is against the social order.

AC: :33 < then the social order is wrong, *ac snarls* now, apologize

CT: D --> I must resume my e%periments.

 

centaursTesticle left the memo

 

CT: D --> That was

Equius shimmies a towel loose of his syladex. He was sweating profusely and needed to wipe himself clean. An olive had tried to order him around. Why did he feel the need to comply?

CT: D --> E%cruciating.

There is a loud bang at the door. He lets out a sigh, and recaptchalogues all of his things. Looks like it's time to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Equius is...interesting. He doesn't really seem to have many friends. Gamzee and Feferi are above his station and should be followed, while Eridan is his enemy and should be fought, and Sollux, Nepeta, and Aradia are below his station and should be ordered around. Vriska, who is nearly at the same station as him, and Karkat, who is anonymous, are probably the closest he has to actual friends. Might actually do a one-shot at some point of these three just being awkward, somewhat contentious friends. But more to the point, Vriska still being a blue, but a part of blue that has a minor rivalry with his own caste is expected to blackmail and backstab each other by social convention, almost as if in a game. Whereas Karkat, by maintaining anonymity, can be imagined as another indigo or purple, someone whom it is socially acceptable to take orders from but might be generally taboo given he doesn't actually know if it is true, thus allowing him to indulge in his fetish without actually breaking his own moral code.
> 
> Sorry for the light update. I had more planned for this, but realized my timeline of events wouldn't actually line up properly if I followed through on it.


	15. My Desmesne

That darn nail gun. Chaotic. Off tempo. An unsteady rhythm of tinks and thwocks. He swivels and twists. Ducks and hops. Step step step, but every time he's almost close enough the robot hops and skitters away.

Buzzsaw and Piston had been relatively easy to deal with in comparison. Equius could almost thank the seadweller if the thought didn't absolutely disgust him.

tinktinkthwocktink

The robots had stopped grouping together after Hammer had been disposed of. However, he had taken inspiration from Vriska's Lusus(still a disgusting compliment, but a more stomachable one) and juryrigged a trap to lure Buzzsaw into. Never had a waste compactor ever been more thoroughly abused.

thwockthwocktinktinktink

None of the other traps worked, but without the extra pressure it had been a simple matter of sneaking up on Piston and methodically dismantling each piece until it simply fell apart.

tinktinktinkthwock

But now he couldn't sneak up on Nail Gun.

  


arsenicCatnip began trolling centaursTesticle

AC: :33 < *ac pawnces into the workshop*

AC: :33 < you n33d to apologize *the mighty huntress growls*

  


thwockthwockthwocktink

Equius cursed his new shades for not even close to the first time. Indeed, had he known he was yet even further from his last grip with the teched out glasses, he may well have crushed them then and there.

tinkthwocktinktinktink

Currently, however, he dived through a door while contemplating the difficulty in outfitting them with speech recognition.

  


AC: :33 < sollux, aradia, and terezi are all furry nice

AC: :33 < *ac pawts* they dont deserve tabby treated like antlerbeast leavings

  


A quick barricade blocks Nail Gun from following, giving him time to deal with this latest intrusion.

tinktinktink

  


CT: D --> This is an ine%cusable interruption.

CT: D --> I am in the midst of a delicate operation.

AC: :33 < terezi says you spend all day building robots to break

AC: :33 < *the huntress examines her claws*

AC: :33 < or spying on your neighbor

CT: D --> I am a noble b100 b100d.

CT: D --> I neither spy nor hoove neighbors.

CT: D --> I observe those within my desmesne.

AC: :33 < *ac cocks her head to the side* would she f33l the same way about that?

CT: D --> It is in the terms of living in my hive's shadow.

CT: D --> My prote%ion in e%change for her services.

AC: :33 < thats

AC: :33 < *ac backs away*

AC: :33 < you know that sounds cr33py, right?

AC: :33 < *ac squares her shoulders angrily* you should purbably apologize to her too

CT: D --> Hrnk

CT: D --> This is una%eptable.

CT: D --> You are beneath my station and I order you to act as such.

AC: :33 < no *ac says as she stands purud and defiant*

CT: D --> What

AC: :33 < youre being mean

CT: D --> I am merely playing my role in society.

AC: :33 < *ac lazily scratches a work tables leg*

AC: :33 < then the role is wrong

AC: :33 < society is wrong

CT: D --> Would you please stop doing that

AC: :33 < *the huntress looks at ct quizzikitty* stop doing what?

CT: D --> De%ribing these ine%plicable a%ions that are not actually taking place.

AC: :33 < no *ac stretches contendedly* you start doing them

CT: D --> What

AC: :33 < *ac licks her paw* roleplay with me

AC: :33 < put yourself in someone elses strut pod covering

CT: D --> I will not engage in this foalishness.

CT: D --> I hoove e%tremely important things to attend to.

CT: D --> You will not contact me again.

centaursTesticle ceased trolling arsenicCatnip

  


That had been an absurd waste of time. He needed a plan to take down Nail Gun, not wasting his time talking to someone who would undoubtedly be culled for speaking out against the wrong troll.

  


AC: :33 < i wont?

AC: :33 < *ac saunters up to ct and rubs against his leg* thats mews to me

  


The robots had clearly been learning, which was all the more frustrating because he hadn't designed them to be able to do so. They started avoiding trraps, and when they had a means to attack from afar, they stayed away. Previously he might have simply walked through the barrage, but the new level of pain was enough to deter him from that course of action.

  


AC: :33 < *ac butts her head against cts leg*

  


Perhaps a weapon would be best. He even had one in mind. His hive was full of shattered versions of it. He hadn't broken one since everything changed.

  


AC: :33 < *ac bats at ct's hand*

  


He hadn't tried. For all the problems Equius had had since the change, he was quite enjoying being strong instead of STRONG. On a subconcious level he was a little worried that things would go back to the way they were if he picked up a bow.

  


AC: :33 < *the mighty huntress swats at a stray nut, sending it skittening into a corner*

  


Not that there was one in this room. His best bet would be to make it to his workshop and, if he didn't already have a bow waiting to be used, make another for this encounter. Which would mean getting nearly to the other side of his hive from here.

  


AC: :33 < *ac chases the nut and sends it skittening haphazardly in yet another direction*

  


Asking Arthour was out of the question. None of the robots had attacked his Lusus so far, but with their behaviour changing it wasn't something he wanted to risk changing.

  


carcinoGeneticist began trolling centaursTesticle

CG: I NEED A DAMP HORN FONDLER AT THESE COORDINATES.

CG: 32N:212W

CG: BUT GIVEN THAT DOOGIE HOWSER ISN'T AVAILABLE, YOU'LL DO IN A PINCH.

CG: AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT.

CG: A LIFE HANGS ON THE DAMN LINE.

CT: D --> Vantas.

CT: D --> I am e%tremely busy at the moment.

CG: WHO IS THIS RUDE FUCKASS CALLING BY MY LAST NAME?

  


AC: :33 < *the mighty huntress starts chewing on a zip tie*

  


CG: YOU SHALL REFER TO ME AS THE GRAND FUCKING HIGH PRIEST OF THE NOT TAKING ANY OF YOUR SHIT CLUB IF YOU CAN'T USE MY NAME.

CG: NOW GET YOUR WASTECHUTE IN GEAR, ZAHHAK.

CG: VRISKA IS DYING.

CT: D --> What did the seadweller do

CG: ERIDAN?

  


AC: :33 < whats this? *ac bounds over to stare at a spot on the wall*

  


CG: WHY IN THE EVERLIVING FUCK WOULD HE BE INVOLVED?

CT: D --> She has been observed leaving with the seadweller at dusk.

CT: D --> And returning just before dawn.

CG: WELL FUCK.

CG: SHE FELL OUT OF THE SKY MISSING AN ARM.

CT: D --> What

CG: GET DOWN HERE, YOU BULGESTAIN, AND YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF.

CT: D --> You are not to give me orders.

centaursTesticle ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist

CG: DAMMIT, ZAHHAK.

  


AC: :33 < *ac starts scratching the wall*

  


CG: YOU FUCKING NOOKWHIFFER.

  


AC: :33 < equius? *the mighty huntress looks around the workshop*

  


CG: I WILL RAGE UPON YOU WITH THE HATRED OF A THOUSAND SUNS

  


AC: :33 < *ac absently bats another nut across the floor* are you still there?

  


CG: ANSWER ME!

  


He wasn't doing this. There was no reason for him to go to the skimmer stable. None of his tools, no weapons. None of the things he needed to deal with Nail Gun.

  


AC: :33 < im not going to stop

  


CG: GOGDAMN PIMPLE SQUEEZING SHIT TREEBEAST!

centaursTesticle begant trolling carcinoGeneticist

CT: D --> Be quiet.

CT: D --> I am on my way.

CG: WHAT?

CT: D --> Do not mistake this as following your orders.

  


AC: :33 < *hops on the worktable and pushes a tool clattering to the floor*

  


CT: D --> I am merely protecting one of my subjects.

CG: FINE

CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

CG: JUST BE FUCKING QUICK ABOUT IT.

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling centaursTesticle

  


The skimmer powers up easily, and he's quickly zooming out of his hive and past the cliffs he lived by.

  


AC: :33 < not until you apologize

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun. I don't really have much to say right here that I didn't already say last chapter.
> 
> I don't think it's going to come up, but the reason Equius' robots were learning was Karkat and Feferi's fault mostly, with some help from Sollux. Feferi goaded Karkat into playing a prank on Equius and gave him the idea of what to do, and Karkat got Sollux to help him with a NEAT Algorithm, though Sollux made him actually write most of the code himself and used every opportunity to belittle Karkat about his shitty programming. It's buggy as hell, isn't optimized worth shit and causes weird glitches when Equius isn't around, but it works and they snuck it into his files on AI so that he was installing it to his own machines. All three have probably forgotten about it, because it ultimately amounted to nothing at the time since Equius could just walk through pretty much everything his robots threw at him.
> 
> And yes, I know Karkat is a shitty programmer in canon, but here he's not capable of parsing Sollux's code(seriously, dude needs to learn how to comment) though still capable of cobbling together information from seven different tutorials into a functional, if accidental, virus or program. He knows just enough to fuck shit up but not enough to direct how things are getting fucked up. Which, having written that, may have been the original authorial goal for Karkat and is beautiful if true, so let's say it is.


End file.
